| the bad memories i wanna forget..

1st, the misunderstandings that i have with my friends.. though they were very petty, we made emsuch a big deal that's why the issue got so packed up but id like to keep em all away cause no matter how bad you've been through those days that you misunderstood each other, nothing can compare for the friendship we vested upon each other..

2nd, the affair that did not push through.. maybe, there is really this thing that we call one great love which will come into our life.. too bad, mine had gone away.. it might never come back or it was really never meant for me.. i dont know.. ive been hurting, and with the new year ahead - i really want to give myself a chance to be happy.. no more drama please..

3rd, the coma of my grandma.. i dunno what to feel, got really upset for what happened to her.. she is bedridden and incapable to speak with and recognize us.. ahh!! it was really hard to see her that way.. she used to be alive and so talkative but now she's not.. i miss my lola!!

| carved on the stone..

year 2005 was one of the awesome years of my life.. maybe because of the different things that happened during this year - the good ones and the bad ones which made me become a better person or is it not??!!
oh well, to give you the highlights of the things that transpired throughout the whole year, here it goes..
first quarter of the year - i got hired in abs-cbn as one of the on-the-job trainees.. the time ive been in the company was incomparable.. i got to meet a lot of my idols in person as well as to be a part of my dream company.. i've always wanted to be an entertainer - in the sense that i bring joy to everybody else and though that is not my job description, somehow it felt good to be surrounded by people who have the same passion as mine..
second quarter of the year - got so hooked up with the project study.. got involved so much with my friends and God - i miss em so much.. i've had lots of friends and im so proud to tell that my bonding with my groupmates evolved from scratch to gold.. it was already given to have lots of misunderstandings but that's the whole point that made the friendship grew deeper..
third quarter of the year - busy days!! school stuff was really a pain in the ass.. you could never imagine how tough it was to graduate and earn a degree.. the final test of being a stud - the thesis that made our lives in the edge of breaking down.. im so proud of what we have achieved.. our thesis made it through brunei and even posted in some website for one week.. but of course, thanks to abs-cbn who has been our partner in making the thesis such a huge success.. in excess, love bloomed in the air during this time.. too bad, it was like a smoke that was taken by the wind instantly..
fourth quarter of the year - got my first job ever.. the process of acquiring such was so hard that i almost gave up.. because of the spirit and because of the good intent of having a job, i was able to get in to one of the companies that opened such great oppurtunity for me.. and now im doing what it takes to keep this job and to continually improve myself.. though it's not my profession, but i am happy with what im doing so far..

2005 - a year that laid lots of oppurtunities to my life.. a year that made me realize the purpose of my life.. and a year that wil trademark some of the achievements i have in life.. goodbye two o' five..

| happy birthday kaye!!

kaye's 19th birthday.. oh i miss this girl so much.. been with her since start of the foundation training.. found her to be the snobbish type.. but i thought wrong.. she was one of the sweetest kinds i've ever known so far.. we had something in common - our eyes and our cheeks.. way to go chinovela prince and princess!! too bad we're not scheduled for the same shift.. though we havent seen each other that much and we havent chitchatted much, i know that what we started will still continue to grow.. kaye, you're the greatest emblem of a teenage mother.. continue inspiringyour kinds.. i've been such a fan of your courage and strength ever since so do not change.. hope your problems will fly away as you reach your dream.. i will forever love you just the way you are!! happy birthday!!

| NEW YEAR!!

thank god, ot days are soon to come over.. ill be having a total of 159 hours of OT from december 9 - january 1.. im vying to get the grand prize for the most number of OT hours and to get Php 10,000 in cash.. still crossing my fingers for it bwahaha.. well, all the efforts will be paid of soon.. need to have my unsolicited vacation this coming january.. it's time to give myself a new life for a new year to come ahead.. il be posting my wonderful memories for the year 2005 on my next blog..

| OT.. OT.. OT..

If the only way to forget somebody is to keep myself busy then I wouldn’t mind working my ass of every minute.. I booked myself in our OT forms and made my regular working hours to 15 hours a day up to the 9th of next month including my rest days and holidays.. I don’t give a damn what other people might say.. but I just want to work as hard as I can.. I don’t want to get idle and then start lingering the past, which was so not good for me anymore.. I’ve been in the rocky road for the longest time and it’s so high time for me to get it over with.. good thing I have my centrum everyday..

| MUST HAVEs mp3s..

1. fall out boy - dance dance
2. mariah carey - makin' it last all night
3. gwen stefani - luxurious
4. chris brown - run it
5. d4l - laffy taffy
6. bep f/ lil jon - my humps (remix)
7. craig david - dont love you no more
8. hale - kung wala ka
9. juana - goodbye
10. bamboo - much has been said
11. backstreet boys - i still
12. pharell williams f/ gwen - can i have it like that
13. eric benet - the last time
14. madhouse - the prayer
15. interactive - forever young
16. safri duo - played a-live
17. jay-r and iya - almost paradise
18. jay-r - just the way you are
19. sugarfree - makitang muli
20. darude - sandstorm

| my prerogative..

STICKWITU by The Pussycat Dolls

I don't want to go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
Throwing their love away
I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)

** Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you Forever
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you

I don't want to go another
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
See the way we rideIn our privated lives
Ain't nobody getting in between
I want you to know that you're the only one for me
And I say

** Repeat

And now I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you We'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you Baby, you're with me

So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts

So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you and you know me
And that's why I say

** Reapat till fade

| harpo thoughts..

i've always been a fan of the Oprah show since i was in highschool.. i must say that she's one of my influences of becoming my true self and finiding my real identity.. last night as i watched her interview with uma thurman (with the issue of eher breaking up the marriage with her husband ethan hawke), something struck me the most.. when she was asking UT if she forgave EH already, she cant answer for a little bit and then oprah suddenly shared her therapeutical message about that question.. she told UT that for you to be able to forgive him, you must be able to give up the hope of continuing the past.. you know, giving up the IF ONLYs and WOULD'VE BEENs would be very helpful to forgive him and then accept him again as a new person entering your life.. that was so powerful, hope i could do that.. but as oprah said, it would take time.. and before you knew it, everything was already fine..

another thing that hit me the most was the line of goldie hawn when she was interviewed by oprah.. i was watching the episode earlier this morning, and it was about the after-show talks which tv audience were not able to catch when they watch at primetime.. only the studio audience was able to witness the hilarious moments they had with the hollywood stars after the show.. well anyways, it was with her interview (after the show) with goldie and susan sarandon when one of the audience suddenly claimed that they were sitting in front of three amazing, successful women (GH, SS and O!) and she just noticed that none of them was married and asked em what's their key to their success and when are they planning to get married.. oprah answered first telling the audience, "if someone asks me that question, i tell them to phone goldie and ask her first when she will be getting married cause obviously she has to be the first between us to get married" (audience laughing).. then goldie answered, "you know what i dont need nobody to make me whole, because if someone completes you - you're in trouble honey.. nobody completes you but you!!" beautiful!! such an eye opener.. thanks goldie and thanks to the oprah show for letting me ponder those thoughts..

another thing - Cher's imaginative theory about perfumes (also been discussed after the show).. she wears chocolate vanilla perfumes cause she believes that if you smell like food, men wouldnt forget you.. lolz..