| the irony of valentine..

Valentine’s day is supposedly a celebration of love, of two hearts entwined to each other, and of two souls who found peace with each other.. guess that’s not what it meant for me.. never in my wildest dreams did i think that during this day, my first valentine having someone to finally shared it with (emotionally) for the past twenty one years of my life, will I feel such enormous pain and seclusion.. it was excruciating and throbbing having been dumped during the day i thought would turn out to be perfect having been qualified to finally rejoice the day of St. Valentine because of the status I carried (not being single at that point).. but I became conscious that the status “taken” only made me more liable to endure more twinge especially during the day which should be celebrated by loving couples – and only by loving partners!! and my partner for sure could not take the guilt of not feeling the same way i felt towards him that’s why he chose to unload me in his baggage.. i do feel for him, i know there’s no easy way to break someone else’s heart but you just have to do it.. and maybe he was thinking, “what’s the point of celebrating anyway?? I don’t feel something – that thing (love) – that I should to be on my feet and party during this day.. and in the shortest sense - I don’t love you anymore..” hard to swallow, tough to get through, and just one hell of mind-breaking, soul-freaking, suck-it-hard line that nobody would want to hear during the most celebrated day of lovers like us, or if we were such in that category.. and learning that from him, i started questioning what went wrong.. you would never want to know his reason why.. cause it’s a simple “it’s not with you, it’s with me..”