| desperation..
Life is so full of twists and turns that nobody could ever explain why it is such.. the sick cycle it brings to everyone else makes a person stronger or if that person isn’t that buoyant enough to know that the cycle is just a part of life, the person tends to suffer desperation and that makes life even sicker.. knowing that what’s happening around us is just an element of life yet we could not control it to live our lives the way we want to..
desperate hopeless-romantic..
Yeah! I am one.. just had a tragic ending of such a lovely story I could ever tell.. isn’t it odd that when you know he is the right person for you at the right time you know it is, things got complicated like he isn’t ready to make commitments.. that kinda sucks a lot.. ever since I was a child, I have dreamed of one great love.. one that could sweep me off my feet.. one that could care for me so much like no else does.. one that I foresee I could be with in the future –sharing stories with me, laughing jokes with me and just enjoying every moment we could possibly have – and one that could show me love and make me wanna love him, too.. the thing is, I found these ideas of one great love with him.. I am just not-so-happy with what I’ve heard from him.. I cried a lot.. cause at one point in time, I thought I’ve seen love in his eyes.. but I’ve mistakenly identified admiration from love.. and I just realized that I just don’t wanna be admired nor liked.. I wanna be loved.. and then there’s somebody else offering me love the way I offered him.. but I guess it wouldn’t be fair for him if I consider his offer knowing that I, in fact, offered the same intensity (or more) of love to someone I love so dearly.. the last time I’ve been hurt like this was when I was in highschool when the girl I loved so much cheated on me.. it took me years back then to finally get over with the whole scenario.. and I guess it would take me even more time now to finally recover from what happened.. I’ve been hurting.. I am still hurting and I don’t want anybody to suffer the same thing I am going through right now.. so much for the selfish little acts I used to do before.. it’s time for me to grow up and be a man to take it all by myself and not grab somebody else to share the pain with me.. what is haunting me more is that I learned to like the things that he like a lot.. blogging, chucks, growing goatee, long hair, Hed Kandi’s music.. at some point, I’d like to forget about all these things but then I have grasped to my intellect that I don’t just like these things, I love ‘em – with or without the person who introduced me these.. just sad that he’s too preoccupied not to see that I can do almost everything for him.. though I really wanna get over him, I don’t think I can.. cause the whole thought of him still lingers on my mind.. I didn’t love him for a reason, I just did..
desperate son/career-seeker..
As much as I’d like to have a job right now not for myself, but for my mom, it seems that fate has gotten her hands again to give me the difficult tests life has to bring.. I’ve been desperately looking for a job for like two weeks already.. and sad to say, im still on the cliff.. so unsure of what other companies think of me.. some would give me a call but others won’t.. some would show willingness, even offering me a job right after graduation but after further evaluation, they would tell me that I am not in a fit for the position.. waahh!! Some would even let me wait for a couple of hours just to tell me that I don’t have what they’re looking for.. rejection.. I have lots of rejection in my life.. if I would tell you, it will take me at least a day to give you the exact details.. though I have been rejected by other companies, I still believe in myself.. I do not lose hope.. though I cried a lot, especially when I was this –close- to hiring.. but then again I have to take it as a man.. you could not please everybody as they say.. and you could not get all the things you want.. most of the times, it was not given to you for reason that He has bigger plans for you.. and that one should realize that what we are going through is just a preparation for the next step.. so im still keeping my head up high, thinking that in time, I will make it through.. and by that time, I would be so happy knowing that I have gone through several trials to finally get what I want.. and what would be more satisfying than to achieve what others think you can’t.. AJA!
And so desperation serves two purposes in life.. one is to motivate a person, you know, to give a person an inner drive to make things happen.. and the other is to let the person realize that life would not be as interesting to live without these challenges you get to have along the way.. life, then, would be ohh so boring.. so keep on dreaming and keep on fighting.. im sure it pays a lot to wait..
desperate hopeless-romantic..
Yeah! I am one.. just had a tragic ending of such a lovely story I could ever tell.. isn’t it odd that when you know he is the right person for you at the right time you know it is, things got complicated like he isn’t ready to make commitments.. that kinda sucks a lot.. ever since I was a child, I have dreamed of one great love.. one that could sweep me off my feet.. one that could care for me so much like no else does.. one that I foresee I could be with in the future –sharing stories with me, laughing jokes with me and just enjoying every moment we could possibly have – and one that could show me love and make me wanna love him, too.. the thing is, I found these ideas of one great love with him.. I am just not-so-happy with what I’ve heard from him.. I cried a lot.. cause at one point in time, I thought I’ve seen love in his eyes.. but I’ve mistakenly identified admiration from love.. and I just realized that I just don’t wanna be admired nor liked.. I wanna be loved.. and then there’s somebody else offering me love the way I offered him.. but I guess it wouldn’t be fair for him if I consider his offer knowing that I, in fact, offered the same intensity (or more) of love to someone I love so dearly.. the last time I’ve been hurt like this was when I was in highschool when the girl I loved so much cheated on me.. it took me years back then to finally get over with the whole scenario.. and I guess it would take me even more time now to finally recover from what happened.. I’ve been hurting.. I am still hurting and I don’t want anybody to suffer the same thing I am going through right now.. so much for the selfish little acts I used to do before.. it’s time for me to grow up and be a man to take it all by myself and not grab somebody else to share the pain with me.. what is haunting me more is that I learned to like the things that he like a lot.. blogging, chucks, growing goatee, long hair, Hed Kandi’s music.. at some point, I’d like to forget about all these things but then I have grasped to my intellect that I don’t just like these things, I love ‘em – with or without the person who introduced me these.. just sad that he’s too preoccupied not to see that I can do almost everything for him.. though I really wanna get over him, I don’t think I can.. cause the whole thought of him still lingers on my mind.. I didn’t love him for a reason, I just did..desperate son/career-seeker..
As much as I’d like to have a job right now not for myself, but for my mom, it seems that fate has gotten her hands again to give me the difficult tests life has to bring.. I’ve been desperately looking for a job for like two weeks already.. and sad to say, im still on the cliff.. so unsure of what other companies think of me.. some would give me a call but others won’t.. some would show willingness, even offering me a job right after graduation but after further evaluation, they would tell me that I am not in a fit for the position.. waahh!! Some would even let me wait for a couple of hours just to tell me that I don’t have what they’re looking for.. rejection.. I have lots of rejection in my life.. if I would tell you, it will take me at least a day to give you the exact details.. though I have been rejected by other companies, I still believe in myself.. I do not lose hope.. though I cried a lot, especially when I was this –close- to hiring.. but then again I have to take it as a man.. you could not please everybody as they say.. and you could not get all the things you want.. most of the times, it was not given to you for reason that He has bigger plans for you.. and that one should realize that what we are going through is just a preparation for the next step.. so im still keeping my head up high, thinking that in time, I will make it through.. and by that time, I would be so happy knowing that I have gone through several trials to finally get what I want.. and what would be more satisfying than to achieve what others think you can’t.. AJA!
And so desperation serves two purposes in life.. one is to motivate a person, you know, to give a person an inner drive to make things happen.. and the other is to let the person realize that life would not be as interesting to live without these challenges you get to have along the way.. life, then, would be ohh so boring.. so keep on dreaming and keep on fighting.. im sure it pays a lot to wait..
