| the bad memories i wanna forget..

1st, the misunderstandings that i have with my friends.. though they were very petty, we made emsuch a big deal that's why the issue got so packed up but id like to keep em all away cause no matter how bad you've been through those days that you misunderstood each other, nothing can compare for the friendship we vested upon each other..

2nd, the affair that did not push through.. maybe, there is really this thing that we call one great love which will come into our life.. too bad, mine had gone away.. it might never come back or it was really never meant for me.. i dont know.. ive been hurting, and with the new year ahead - i really want to give myself a chance to be happy.. no more drama please..

3rd, the coma of my grandma.. i dunno what to feel, got really upset for what happened to her.. she is bedridden and incapable to speak with and recognize us.. ahh!! it was really hard to see her that way.. she used to be alive and so talkative but now she's not.. i miss my lola!!

| carved on the stone..

year 2005 was one of the awesome years of my life.. maybe because of the different things that happened during this year - the good ones and the bad ones which made me become a better person or is it not??!!
oh well, to give you the highlights of the things that transpired throughout the whole year, here it goes..
first quarter of the year - i got hired in abs-cbn as one of the on-the-job trainees.. the time ive been in the company was incomparable.. i got to meet a lot of my idols in person as well as to be a part of my dream company.. i've always wanted to be an entertainer - in the sense that i bring joy to everybody else and though that is not my job description, somehow it felt good to be surrounded by people who have the same passion as mine..
second quarter of the year - got so hooked up with the project study.. got involved so much with my friends and God - i miss em so much.. i've had lots of friends and im so proud to tell that my bonding with my groupmates evolved from scratch to gold.. it was already given to have lots of misunderstandings but that's the whole point that made the friendship grew deeper..
third quarter of the year - busy days!! school stuff was really a pain in the ass.. you could never imagine how tough it was to graduate and earn a degree.. the final test of being a stud - the thesis that made our lives in the edge of breaking down.. im so proud of what we have achieved.. our thesis made it through brunei and even posted in some website for one week.. but of course, thanks to abs-cbn who has been our partner in making the thesis such a huge success.. in excess, love bloomed in the air during this time.. too bad, it was like a smoke that was taken by the wind instantly..
fourth quarter of the year - got my first job ever.. the process of acquiring such was so hard that i almost gave up.. because of the spirit and because of the good intent of having a job, i was able to get in to one of the companies that opened such great oppurtunity for me.. and now im doing what it takes to keep this job and to continually improve myself.. though it's not my profession, but i am happy with what im doing so far..

2005 - a year that laid lots of oppurtunities to my life.. a year that made me realize the purpose of my life.. and a year that wil trademark some of the achievements i have in life.. goodbye two o' five..

| happy birthday kaye!!

kaye's 19th birthday.. oh i miss this girl so much.. been with her since start of the foundation training.. found her to be the snobbish type.. but i thought wrong.. she was one of the sweetest kinds i've ever known so far.. we had something in common - our eyes and our cheeks.. way to go chinovela prince and princess!! too bad we're not scheduled for the same shift.. though we havent seen each other that much and we havent chitchatted much, i know that what we started will still continue to grow.. kaye, you're the greatest emblem of a teenage mother.. continue inspiringyour kinds.. i've been such a fan of your courage and strength ever since so do not change.. hope your problems will fly away as you reach your dream.. i will forever love you just the way you are!! happy birthday!!

| NEW YEAR!!

thank god, ot days are soon to come over.. ill be having a total of 159 hours of OT from december 9 - january 1.. im vying to get the grand prize for the most number of OT hours and to get Php 10,000 in cash.. still crossing my fingers for it bwahaha.. well, all the efforts will be paid of soon.. need to have my unsolicited vacation this coming january.. it's time to give myself a new life for a new year to come ahead.. il be posting my wonderful memories for the year 2005 on my next blog..

| OT.. OT.. OT..

If the only way to forget somebody is to keep myself busy then I wouldn’t mind working my ass of every minute.. I booked myself in our OT forms and made my regular working hours to 15 hours a day up to the 9th of next month including my rest days and holidays.. I don’t give a damn what other people might say.. but I just want to work as hard as I can.. I don’t want to get idle and then start lingering the past, which was so not good for me anymore.. I’ve been in the rocky road for the longest time and it’s so high time for me to get it over with.. good thing I have my centrum everyday..

| MUST HAVEs mp3s..

1. fall out boy - dance dance
2. mariah carey - makin' it last all night
3. gwen stefani - luxurious
4. chris brown - run it
5. d4l - laffy taffy
6. bep f/ lil jon - my humps (remix)
7. craig david - dont love you no more
8. hale - kung wala ka
9. juana - goodbye
10. bamboo - much has been said
11. backstreet boys - i still
12. pharell williams f/ gwen - can i have it like that
13. eric benet - the last time
14. madhouse - the prayer
15. interactive - forever young
16. safri duo - played a-live
17. jay-r and iya - almost paradise
18. jay-r - just the way you are
19. sugarfree - makitang muli
20. darude - sandstorm

| my prerogative..

STICKWITU by The Pussycat Dolls

I don't want to go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
Throwing their love away
I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)

** Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you Forever
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you

I don't want to go another
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
See the way we rideIn our privated lives
Ain't nobody getting in between
I want you to know that you're the only one for me
And I say

** Repeat

And now I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you We'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you Baby, you're with me

So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts

So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you and you know me
And that's why I say

** Reapat till fade

| harpo thoughts..

i've always been a fan of the Oprah show since i was in highschool.. i must say that she's one of my influences of becoming my true self and finiding my real identity.. last night as i watched her interview with uma thurman (with the issue of eher breaking up the marriage with her husband ethan hawke), something struck me the most.. when she was asking UT if she forgave EH already, she cant answer for a little bit and then oprah suddenly shared her therapeutical message about that question.. she told UT that for you to be able to forgive him, you must be able to give up the hope of continuing the past.. you know, giving up the IF ONLYs and WOULD'VE BEENs would be very helpful to forgive him and then accept him again as a new person entering your life.. that was so powerful, hope i could do that.. but as oprah said, it would take time.. and before you knew it, everything was already fine..

another thing that hit me the most was the line of goldie hawn when she was interviewed by oprah.. i was watching the episode earlier this morning, and it was about the after-show talks which tv audience were not able to catch when they watch at primetime.. only the studio audience was able to witness the hilarious moments they had with the hollywood stars after the show.. well anyways, it was with her interview (after the show) with goldie and susan sarandon when one of the audience suddenly claimed that they were sitting in front of three amazing, successful women (GH, SS and O!) and she just noticed that none of them was married and asked em what's their key to their success and when are they planning to get married.. oprah answered first telling the audience, "if someone asks me that question, i tell them to phone goldie and ask her first when she will be getting married cause obviously she has to be the first between us to get married" (audience laughing).. then goldie answered, "you know what i dont need nobody to make me whole, because if someone completes you - you're in trouble honey.. nobody completes you but you!!" beautiful!! such an eye opener.. thanks goldie and thanks to the oprah show for letting me ponder those thoughts..

another thing - Cher's imaginative theory about perfumes (also been discussed after the show).. she wears chocolate vanilla perfumes cause she believes that if you smell like food, men wouldnt forget you.. lolz..

| 1st-time glitches..

earlier this day, i got my first call.. and lucky me (sarcastic) for having an irate caller for the first time.. it was this old lady trying to trace where her refund went.. and since she has these lots of credit cards in her account history, i dont know where to look from.. i raised my hand trying to escalate my call to the first available team leader there is.. and one even helped me out.. unfortunately, he wasnt able to locate the refund as well.. and so we called to the next higher person around.. her name is aimee and she's an American.. she tried looking it from the system that we dont have access yet.. and when she found it, the caller told me to give her just a call back.. i was about to tell her where her refund certainly went when she hung up on me.. bummer!! but it was alright.. 1st call – the first shitty call ever hehe!!

but the rest of the calls I had was totally fine.. I mean after that shitty call I have, I had composed myself and tried to be as cheerful as I can be to the callers I have.. lucky me because most of them were so nice to me and very obedient of what I had to say.. though there were some mistakes that I did, well im sure that it was well-compensated by the kind of service I give to them.. surely, I treated them the way I wanted to be treated as well.. another day passed and another day will come with more calls to handle..

| a text to tell..

during one of my sleepless nights, i texted my beloved telling him this..

"I remember the day that we met.. It was at dawn back then.. i was just wearing fliflops on my feet and you approached me and welcomed me with the greatest smile i have ever seen.. Then you took me home.. a home to your heart.. Then, when im about to leave, i knew that i'll not be taking my heart with me anymore.. I was touched when you told me that, "itong mukhang ito, hindi ka pababayaan nito.." from that point, i knew that i was being taken care of.. I knew that i was in good hands.. And you proved me right.. You showed sincerity to your actions and i was happy with that.. More than happy to be exact.. You were actually the only person who did things like that for me.. I was thankful.. But when you flew for Palawan, it seemed that you dont wanna come back anymore.. Much more when you left for the States.. I cant blame you for that.. People change as well as their feelings and thoughts.. But guess what, my love has always been there for you.. It never changed.. Still trying to check on you through your blogs - well, that's the most i can do at that time.. And now you're back, and obviously trying to get rid of me.. MASAKIT!! guess i have to forget you again for another attempt.. Hope this will be the last cause people do get tired.. Not because there's no love anymore, but because of a realization that what i have for you - no matter how try to offer it to you, you will never accept it cause you were too afraid to give it a try.. Goodbye ***! Best of luck.. My heart will always remember a person like you.."

And then he replied,

"Ey, im not trying to get rid of you.. I've been honest with you.. i cant give something i dont have.. i dont wanna be unfair to you.. I still love my ex.. Ayokong in the end you'd feel like i cheated you.. I do like you, you know that.. But i cant give you what you need.. Besides, i wont be staying in Manila always.. We can be friends though.. Im sorry mah beh, but i dont wanna lie to you or cheat you of something that you deserve.. You deserve someone who would love you as much as you love 'em.."

Im hurting.. i am because im desperately in love with the person.. fate must've gotten her hands on me again.. maybe i dont deserve to have him or the other way around.. but either way - the hell i care.. even if we dont deserve each other, what matters most is that i love the person.. nothing can change that.. even fate can not..

| a tribute to dance..

Madonna's Hung Up

Time goes by so slowly 6x

*** Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up I'm hunging up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up I'm tired of waiting on you

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait
No time to hesitate
Those who run seem to have all the fun
I'm caught upI don't know what to do

Time goes by so slowly 3x
I don't know what to do

*** 2x

Ring ring ring goes the telephone
The lights are on but there's no-one home
Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two
And I'm doneI'm hanging up on you
I can't keep on waiting for you
I know that you're still hesitating
Don't cry for me'cause I
'll find my way you'll wake up one day but it'll be too late

*** till fade..

| nesting..

Tonight will be the start of our nesting period – which lasts for a week.. and tonight, ill be taking calls for the first time.. hope to do so well.. but it’ll be alright if I don’t do good.. what’s good about our job is that there’s always room for improvement.. the trainers including our team leaders make sure that we will do good on the floor.. they were very supportive and very handy at times.. always willing to answer our queries and always willing to explain things that were hard to grasp.. hope to be one of them someday, cause I would really like to share what I have learned from them as well..

| utopia..

As wikipedia defines, utopia, in its most common and general positive meaning, refers to the human efforts to create a better society - a perfect society that does not exist... knowing that, I can say that im a utopian.. always looking forward to live a perfect life where everything I wanna have will be given to me and everything that I want in my life will happen.. cliché as it may sound, but we can never get all the things we want in life.. no matter how we try it, we can never have them all.. somehow, in our journey, there’s always this something that lacks in our life.. something that makes us want to have more.. maybe that’s why humans are insatiable.. because they can never have all the things they want whenever they want it.. sometimes even the person we want to share our life with can never be ours.. it’s just so sad to think that when you know that he’s the one for you, something you were not prepared for came up.. and that’s even more hard to accept because of that something.. though being a utopian is not a good idea cause life will never be the way you want it or even more be perfect for your taste, but I will keep on dreaming that someday, it will be.. cause if there’s something that they cant take away from me, it will be my freewill… my freedom to dream and to do whatever it takes to reach that dream..

| win some, lose some..

Last Monday night, a twist of faith happened.. the results of our midpoint assessment were already told and shockingly, only minority of the class passed (including me).. to make it even more heartbreaking, most of the persons that I grew close to for the past month did not make it.. waahh!! It was really tough for all of us thinking that we have already built rapport with each other and that we really got so close.. it was like a one big happy family being teardown.. though some almost make it, which gave them another chance to pull it through for another week.. but some were being moved to different accounts and worse, some even had to go from the top again.. ahh.. life can be oh so cruel at times.. but that’s why it is unpredictable.. you can never tell what’ll happen next.. to all my friends who have grown so deeply in my heart, I will never forget you guys.. I will always be the ever helpful, cheerful, small ja that you once knew.. see you around!!

| a trip down to memory lane

Last last Saturday was the moment of truth, the moment we’ve all been waiting for.. at last, the long wait was over.. it was the day we finished college – it’s our Graduation Day!!! Oh well, just like one of the ordinary days I’ve been through.. the excitement – it was all spoiled out because of the long wait (literally) after our final exams.. it could’ve been more surreal if they scheduled it just a few weeks after our exams.. but they did not.. they scheduled it almost two months after our finals which was not that good and not that as exciting anymore.. nevertheless, I managed to enjoy the event in amidst of these thoughts..

We were told to dress in a corporate attire – but does it mean that if we’re not properly dressed we’ll not be able to march… nah.. of course we can wear whatever we want.. anyways, it’s our graduation.. there’s no stopping us from climbing the stage and taking in our final bow.. even the way we dressed at that time..

We arrived to the venue (guess what?? it was held at feu auditorium which is just in front of our building..) ahead of time.. and you know, the normal stuff – picture picture.. yeah!! we took a lot of pictures.. I might not be able to upload it all here.. sowee.. and then we were told to fall in line and wear our togas.. ahhhh..

And when our name was called, geez!! super sarap ng feeling.. and then we have our baccalaureate mass which I took part as the second reader.. ahihi.. and then after that is the graduation proper.. they told us that special awards will be given for outstanding students and for those who showed leadership skills… it was kinda surprise cause they didn’t announce the recipients of such awards prior to that day – and so I was called hehe to receive one of them.. and so as my fellow colleagues who showed exemplary leadership skills and service to the students.. congratulations to all of us..

And then the commencement speaker uttered his incredibly long speech.. oh boy!! It bored me to death.. as in I was literally putting my head to the back rest and yawned a LOT of times.. too bad, my fone was not with me then so we're not able to take pictures just to kill time.. but eventually, the speech ended!!

After that, we formed at the side of the stage to be called one by one to receive our diplomas… Yipee!! I was thinking then how I started myself in feu.. I was previously enrolled to the other school before getting myself in feu.. and then, I had no idea that I’ll be having a trimestral basis then and no idea that I’ll be part of the pioneer batch.. the subjects were difficult.. I hated calculus the most though I really love math.. and electronics as well.. communications subjects are my kind of subjects.. I excel there more than in elex subjs… then we had terror professors who put our lives to the test.. but then we really have nice ones who became our friends.. and the projects were annoying and the deadlines were even more annoying.. a lot of pressure to deal with.. much more when thesis came.. we had more sleepovers than ever.. more bickering and fighting.. ahh!! Those were the days ill be missing for sure when I get out of school.. in amidst of all thos thoughts running through my head, my name was called.. tears were peeping through my eyes while receiving the diploma, having my final bow with all smiles, shaking hands with my professors and kissing our very loving department head… ohh that was really a heart-felt moment..

And of course, what could be more emotionally disturbing than bidding goodbyes to your friends who have become and will always be a part of your life.. as well as thanking your parents and congratulating them for a job well done.. that for me, though seemed ordinary day, was the day I will never forget..

CONGRATULATIONS FELLOW

Graduates!!

| bewilderment of the heart

lately, I have been (emotionally??) involved with a girl that I am working with.. it all started after the night we went out.. some things happened during that night that I need not to elaborate.. let’s just say that we quite had a good time with each other.. and so we texted over the weekends and shared thoughts about ourselves.. I was totally awed by what she has just revealed.. though I don’t wanna brag about it, she said that, “I like you..”.. I don’t know where that came from or what gave her the reason to feel such thing towards me.. I mean everybody knows in our workplace what my sexual preference is and that what I was showing off my bisexual side.. (but not totally out!! and mind you, I do not cross dress – though I have nothing against it, I just don’t like the idea of wearing opposite sex’s garments.. I have been an open book to everybody for the longest time and I like it to be that way for the rest of my life.. that’s one way I think of being honest to one’s self..) and so I didn’t know what to say to her after learning what was on her mind.. honestly, I feel elated by the fact that she has this feeling for me but I don’t wanna use that to take advantage of the situation.. I mean I don’t wanna commit myself to someone just because she likes me.. it’s more like of an inner evaluation and a lot of consideration to finally get into a relationship (oh! now I’m growing up!!).. and there are factors that complicate things which I prefer not to discuss for her privacy.. but right now, I am enjoying her company and who knows, this might be the start of something different.. what thrilled me the most with her leak was that she accepts me for who I am.. and that I think what matters most.. it’s seldom that I encounter a person like her.. I shared this story with my well-trusted hommies and they told me just to hold on to my thoughts and do not rush things.. think it over and just have a great time with her.. but then one friend asked me, “what about *** ?”.. and then that’s where the confusion starts.. what if he comes back (though there are least possibility for such thing to happen).. but then, just a moment ago.. I’ve learned that he’s back in the country.. somehow, I was/am still hoping for him to reach me.. but that’s okay.. I understand that his life is entirely way out of mine.. so the question now is, "should I go to the first available person there is or should I stick to the one who holds my heart for the past two months??"

well, my answer is – I do not know!!

| my purpose..

Yesterday, during our second day of advanced training… the instructor (new!) asked me of what would be my purpose in life.. thinking that I should not focus in my dreams only but for the general aspect why I am living my life – I told her, “that I want to contribute to humanity by sharing God’s given skills and knowledge that I have”.. and that was okay.. but then, my co-trainees said their speeches and they got so emotional.. that they concentrated more on what they think should be the sole reason why they want to work.. some answered about family stuff and some answered about achieving personal desire.. and so all were touched by their stories even if they are told in just a single line… before the instructor ended such a brainier activity, I told her if I can change my purpose and be specific of what I really want in life… and so she let me proceed with my spill – and I told everybody that, “I want to succeed in life and so I can prove to my dad that I can do better without him..” and everybody sympathized me.. because as of that moment, that was what I want to do with my life.. to equip myself with every knowledge that I can acquire before the moment we face each other.. to somehow let him realize that even if he’s not here to guide nor support me if not love me, well, it doesn’t matter cause im doing good without his presence.. and then that was over.. as we waited for our own phone simulations, I got the chance to talk to two of my co-trainees (my turned-out-to-be-counselors).. it was just a how-are-you question and more like of a harutan at first.. I cant really recall how did it start but I suddenly found myself answering the question of Jane if what I have said earlier was really my purpose in life.. and so Audrey and her started lecturing me about the right motivation that should be taking to reach the right direction in life not the one that leads to bitterness and anger that I have just shown and told.. I was blown away by Jane’s question and it went like this, “Ja, what are you going to do after you have met your father and finally proved to him that you can do better (survive) without him???” and then I contemplated things and told myself, “Oo nga noh!”.. what will be my next driving force.. is that it?? Is that the end of it?? And then they started talking about their lives and how they have overcome if not the same but greater intensity of bitterness they have as well before.. their stories were really inspiring and then I told myself that if these two can do it, well, I can as well.. I mean finally letting go of the negative things they have in their lives.. maybe, that’s why the result of my psychological test showed that I am a melancholic person.. it’s because I dwell too much on the negative things rather than the positive.. that though im trying hard to cover it up by cranking jokes all the time, making it a habit to make other people laugh and entertaining as many people as I can – still, there’s something that holds me for me not to feel the same way I let other people want to feel – and that is to be happy and fulfilled.. I have completely forgotten about myself and the people that love me the most – my family.. that I should be grateful despite the fact that the other half of me is missing (cause of my father’s identity) but I realized from the sort-of-a-therapy that I have gone with my two counselors that I can get that other half of identity to my family, friends and to the people who love me.. I have focused myself in looking forward to the day me and my father will meet, and so I have overlooked that my mom is here with me – that I should thank her instead for she was able to bring us all up by herself.. (love you mommy!).. and so I promise myself to let go of the bad things I have in my heart.. it’ll not happen overnight but im sure that eventually, I will be able to gather the lost pieces of myself.. and for the third time, “Can I change my purpose??” – my purpose now is to do whatever it takes to bring comfort to my mom and my family so long as I live..

*a special thanks to Audrey and Jane for making me ponder these thoughts..

| melancholic..

Just this morning I was able to view the results of the psychological test I took months ago as a requirement for our graduation.. the guidance counselor was so pleased to inform me that I really have nice results.. she first showed me the results of the aptitude test which I got superior in all of the areas especially in numerical, blah-blah (forgot to retain in my memory the other tests).. then for the personality test, I also got superior in most of the areas which definitely showed what I am made of.. I got excellent in creativity and other blah-blahs.. (sorry again..) and then for the IQ test, well, I kinda sucked hehe.. (but at least im still in the above average bracket – though not that high scores compared to others!!) but the counselor told me that was okay.. she told me that I have the skills (competent skills) and all I need to do is to work on it cause knowledge will not be stagnant unless you give effort to improve yourself.. so for that part, there is always room for improvement and development.. the last part of the results struck me that much… she told me that as an over-all personality and aptitude assessment – I am a melancholic.. which means I am a person who tends to be gloomy or depressed at times.. maybe because I was/am too sensitive of the way others think of me, or even always seeking for their approval for what I did.. it’s quite true.. I mean it’s totally true in the sense that I tend to be introvert for some time.. always assessing myself if I have done the right thing or not, and even have a propensity to feel inferior in front of others.. maybe because I am a shy person – or am I not?? Waahh!! Maybe I need to take another psychological test again cause im fu**ing confused wehehe.. but if there’s one thing I am not confused of – it would probably be my sexual preference.. okay.. this blog is a total mess.. my bad!!

| thank you for calling SITEL!! this is jay, how may I help you??

view http://buliut-stripped.blogspot.com or just click STRIPPED! on my other blogs for more pictures!

We just finished our foundation training in SITEL and I had a blast!! That was I think the best training experience I’ve had.. not to mention the best (handsomest and sexiest) instructor I’ve ever met.. and the good thing about that was we have the same name.. oh well..

To start with.. we started our training at the first day of last week.. we had our training in ortigas which is near to my place so just an FX ride will do.. the building is located in emerald avenue (currently F. Ortigas Rd) in front of Raffles Building.. our building is like the oldest building in the entire avenue.. bwahaha!! During our first day, but of course I was too shy to befriend most of them.. the people I bonded with during the orientation were assigned to different training venue that’s why I got scared knowing them.. but I did manage to survive.. of course, with my natural charm (naks!) and with my smile, I was able to gain their trust and befriend them all.. I mean I made it a point to know all of them.. have a chitchat with them often and showed who I really am.. I don’t want them to judge me nor misinterpret what I was saying or doing so I told them right away about my sexual preference.. and fortunately, most of them did not turn their backs at me.. they accepted me for who I am..

As days passed by, we got close to each other.. especially with mommy lou, gem and trunk.. we were like the fantastic four of sitel… hmm… I wonder which character would I be.. mommy lou (half-blimp who is so conscious about what she looks like in the pictures) is the bestfriend of my current chatmate/textmate who happened to be the acquaintance of gus.. what a small world, indeed!! (im sorry mom, but I don’t think I’m the type of guy your bestfriend would want to be with).. anyways, trunk is the alter ego of rico barrera of pinoy big brother.. he is like the bisexual version of rico.. he also has this superb abs and pulled-up hair.. not to mention the black glasses he has as well… and then gem is like the innocent/tame version of joyce jimenez.. indeed, every angle of her ensembles jj.. but she is the sweetest and richest gal in SITEL wahaha..

The rest of the group was super okay!! They have their own stories and own reasons why they were engaged in this kind of work.. their narratives were overwhelming because they depict the reality of life.. and somehow, I got connected to some and to the rest, I sympathized them.. I just don’t know what to say when I hear their stories.. they were heart-felt and madrama talaga!

Then yesterday was the last day of our foundation training and all of us passed… Kudos to XM Radio Pioneer Agents wehehe.. we are now heading to the next level which is the Product Specific Training.. then hopefully we all get certified.. I mean we bonded na talaga eh and I wouldn’t want to lose any of them.. they were so good to me.. last night, we went out to Oodie’s.. we had some beers there (following the pizza treat the company gave us) and some singing sessions.. whew!! my vocal chords were kinda worn out but I handled to pull it off wahaha.. thanks to my singing buddies – jarla, kaye, mischelle, trunk, ian (and her band – geko!) surely, we deserve that night after a week and a half of strenuous training.. I’m going to miss you guys.. see y’all on monday, ayt???

- so, is there anything else I can help you with?? okay, thank you for calling Sitel and have a nice day :-)

| bench

For the longest time I haven’t had my haircut.. ,
and so today, to have a new look in preparation for my first day of work – I finally had my haircut… thanks to bench fix salon and to all the staff who made me at ease and who provided good customer service (waah!!).. thanks to bench fix styling stick to keep my hair up and to give sturdy look.. to bench moisturizing body spray to keep luscious skin.. and bench deo body spray who never lets me down haha!

| october bash!

It’s the first day of October and I can now smell the graduation day - as well as the beer fest haha!! Though, the department keeps us hanging because they were not yet releasing the official list of the graduating students, but I still they’re just faking it.. you know, for us to worry because we haven’t submitted the final copy of our thesis because it was stuck in the ERC for grammar corrections and minor editing.. nevertheless, we can work on that.. im sure we can.. so, there’s no stopping us from graduating in the 22nd of October.. fyi, we will be having our recollection this coming Saturday in san mateo, rizal.. at first, we kinda thought that it was again, another expense for us but we were so happy to know that it will be an all-expense paid trip except of course, for your transportation in going to the assembly place and to your toiletries, chips – need I say more? Anyway, im so excited bout the trip.. im sure it’ll be fun and a lot of bonding moments will be dwelled upon us – again!

| Starbuck's scam or myth?!?

The story that I will tell has been told by mouths and in my opinion, I think it’s quite true.. I’m so sorry.. I thrive in gossips a lot.. ergoes.. there was this old filthy rich man who’s living in Manhattan.. well, one of his fave things to do everyday is to have a cup of Cappuccino, which he orders in Starbucks’s.. He buys the same blend of Cappuccino almost everyday for the past uhmm I think more than ten years of his life.. and because of that, he can be considered as one of Starbuck’s valued customers.. but one day, he realized that it will cost him less if he will just get this Cappuccino maker, (that is available in Starbuck’s and will cost for about less than a hundred bucks) bring it to his house and from there, make his own blend of Cappuccino.. so what he did was he purchased this Capp maker and was so agitated to make his fave blend of Capp.. but as days passed by, he got pissed off for reasons that no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t make the exact blend of Capp the same from what he used to pay for in Starbuck’s... and so he returned it to Starbuck’s to get his money back but the manager of the Manhattan branch refused to.. He told the old man that, “im sorry sir, we can’t do that because you have already used the machine..” but the old man insisted that, “Hey! I really want my money back because you know what, I just couldn’t get the exact same blend of Capp that I used to buy here in Starbuck’s..”. and so the discussion ended.. and the old man was so dissatisfied because he can’t get his money back.. so what he did next was that he called up Starbuck’s headquarters in Seattle, Washington and talked to one of the top executives there.. But the thing was, he was told that he really can’t get his money back but he was offered that his Capp maker will be replaced by the new model with upgrade.. hmm.. pretty good deal, huh?! But even though that was a great deal, the old man still want to get his money back.. and so the top executive ended the phone conversation refusing to the old man’s demands.. the next day, the old man paid a full-page ad (cost 100,000 dollars or more) to the New York Times telling that Starbuck’s could not stand behind their products.. that he was so mad because he just can’t get his money back for the Capp maker that he purchased.. you know, that Starbuck’s couldn’t make a money-back guarantee.. and so the whole nation knew about that news and for Starbuck’s, it was a bad publicity indeed.. they were alarmed.. and so the next day, Starbuck’s paid a full-page ad as well, and told about their apologies to the old man.. and from there, the old man then received a special Starbuck’s card that he can bring to any Starbuck’s outlets and avail a free cup of coffee.. whether that may be in Timbuktu or in Honolulu – he can have his Starbuck’s coffee for free!!

Well, the moral lesson of the story is that we should be exercising our rights as customers to the full extent.. what I mean is, that we should not be afraid to demand because after all, the company would not exist if it weren’t for us – the customers! And so they must give us not just not good but best customer service all the time..

*Thanks to EJ (one of our trainors) for sharing these thoughts with me..

| nocturnal..

for me, adjusting my body clock to the exact opposite of the normal one is not so-biggie! You know, I stay up late at night most of the time to do downloads, surfing, chatting, blogging, etcetera because that’s the only time I can avail of the free unlimited hours of my internet service provider (thanks to ISP Bonanza – P60 – 2 months w/ 10 hrs for peak hours and free unlimited access from 12pm to 8am).. and so, our orientation last night was okay for me.. I get to learn more of the company’s profile and objectives.. as well as the salary computation, which actually bored us out.. I didn’t quite expect that there a lot of taxes to be paid and a lot of deductions to be considered before getting your actual salary.. whew! that’s way too high! But anyways, I enjoyed the orientation especially when Nod (moderator) was cranking jokes and making faces.. he can be a stand-up comedian as an alternate career, I guess.. im kinda happy with the account that we will be handling for we are the pioneer of the said account.. sounds de ja vu.. because I’ve been a pioneer of the ECE batch of FEU-EAC that’s why.. and other organizations as well.. later on, we have found out that the our batch was divided I think into two for the training.. too bad, my buddies aren’t with me.. the good news is I’ve been assigned near to my place so, you know, less cab-a-holic so that I can save money hehe.. and it’s scheduled from 1pm – 9pm.. that’s makes a lot of sense cause I will still be able to catch PBB.. :-)

| it pays a lot to wait..

Somebody got hired!!!!

And that person is me…

After weeks of struggling through the interviews and exams, finally, I was hired by Sitel (located in Eastwood City, Libis).. it was so cool.. we started like 30 applicants yesterday morning and then we have the interview with the hr manager.. it’s like a group interview where she will be asking you several questions but you have to answer 'em in front of everybody else.. that was so intense.. but I made it through – lucky me! and then we have our exam.. it was 2 exams actually with four sets each.. whew! it was so tiring and mind-boggling.. I had my lunch at around 2 pm na.. I was so worried cause I have a scheduled interview and exam that same day at 4pm in Convergys Makati.. so I was thinking if I would be able to catch up with that schedule or not.. but the answer was obvious cause I’ll be having my phone simulation at 3pm.. and fortunately I passed again.. it was my day I must say.. and then they let me wait for a couple of hours for the job offer.. it was then that I met new people (the ones that were included in our batch).. we were narrowed down into 6 ata who made it.. we even exchanged numbers to keep in touch wehehe.. and then that’s it.. but my ex who’s apparently working in Convergys told me to pursue my exam.. Convergys is like the best call center here in the Phils. so the offer is way too great there.. but I still don’t know.. though I want more options, still, im considering a lot of things.. im just praying to have a clear mind and to decide what would be best for me..

| desperation..

Life is so full of twists and turns that nobody could ever explain why it is such.. the sick cycle it brings to everyone else makes a person stronger or if that person isn’t that buoyant enough to know that the cycle is just a part of life, the person tends to suffer desperation and that makes life even sicker.. knowing that what’s happening around us is just an element of life yet we could not control it to live our lives the way we want to..

desperate hopeless-romantic..
Yeah! I am one.. just had a tragic ending of such a lovely story I could ever tell.. isn’t it odd that when you know he is the right person for you at the right time you know it is, things got complicated like he isn’t ready to make commitments.. that kinda sucks a lot.. ever since I was a child, I have dreamed of one great love.. one that could sweep me off my feet.. one that could care for me so much like no else does.. one that I foresee I could be with in the future –sharing stories with me, laughing jokes with me and just enjoying every moment we could possibly have – and one that could show me love and make me wanna love him, too.. the thing is, I found these ideas of one great love with him.. I am just not-so-happy with what I’ve heard from him.. I cried a lot.. cause at one point in time, I thought I’ve seen love in his eyes.. but I’ve mistakenly identified admiration from love.. and I just realized that I just don’t wanna be admired nor liked.. I wanna be loved.. and then there’s somebody else offering me love the way I offered him.. but I guess it wouldn’t be fair for him if I consider his offer knowing that I, in fact, offered the same intensity (or more) of love to someone I love so dearly.. the last time I’ve been hurt like this was when I was in highschool when the girl I loved so much cheated on me.. it took me years back then to finally get over with the whole scenario.. and I guess it would take me even more time now to finally recover from what happened.. I’ve been hurting.. I am still hurting and I don’t want anybody to suffer the same thing I am going through right now.. so much for the selfish little acts I used to do before.. it’s time for me to grow up and be a man to take it all by myself and not grab somebody else to share the pain with me.. what is haunting me more is that I learned to like the things that he like a lot.. blogging, chucks, growing goatee, long hair, Hed Kandi’s music.. at some point, I’d like to forget about all these things but then I have grasped to my intellect that I don’t just like these things, I love ‘em – with or without the person who introduced me these.. just sad that he’s too preoccupied not to see that I can do almost everything for him.. though I really wanna get over him, I don’t think I can.. cause the whole thought of him still lingers on my mind.. I didn’t love him for a reason, I just did..

desperate son/career-seeker..
As much as I’d like to have a job right now not for myself, but for my mom, it seems that fate has gotten her hands again to give me the difficult tests life has to bring.. I’ve been desperately looking for a job for like two weeks already.. and sad to say, im still on the cliff.. so unsure of what other companies think of me.. some would give me a call but others won’t.. some would show willingness, even offering me a job right after graduation but after further evaluation, they would tell me that I am not in a fit for the position.. waahh!! Some would even let me wait for a couple of hours just to tell me that I don’t have what they’re looking for.. rejection.. I have lots of rejection in my life.. if I would tell you, it will take me at least a day to give you the exact details.. though I have been rejected by other companies, I still believe in myself.. I do not lose hope.. though I cried a lot, especially when I was this –close- to hiring.. but then again I have to take it as a man.. you could not please everybody as they say.. and you could not get all the things you want.. most of the times, it was not given to you for reason that He has bigger plans for you.. and that one should realize that what we are going through is just a preparation for the next step.. so im still keeping my head up high, thinking that in time, I will make it through.. and by that time, I would be so happy knowing that I have gone through several trials to finally get what I want.. and what would be more satisfying than to achieve what others think you can’t.. AJA!

And so desperation serves two purposes in life.. one is to motivate a person, you know, to give a person an inner drive to make things happen.. and the other is to let the person realize that life would not be as interesting to live without these challenges you get to have along the way.. life, then, would be ohh so boring.. so keep on dreaming and keep on fighting.. im sure it pays a lot to wait..

| me, myself and jay..

you might be wondering who that jay is… well, it’s my newly found friend?? (uh-uh!).. it’s just so happen that we have the same nickname.. funny, isn’t it?? Oh well, he’s a guy from Sitel call center in Libis.. I met him through g4m.. he’s so nice and so helpful.. he knows that I am currently looking for a job and without thinking twice, he offered me help and even promised to refer me to the hr of their company.. ahh!!! I really don’t know what to say.. though we haven’t met personally yet, it seems that he’s more than willing to offer me the best possible aid he could give.. such an angel! Hehe.. hope to know him more and wishing that this start could lead into something favorable for both of us..

| in pursuit of a prospect career (CSR/TSR)

I didn’t think that job hunting could be so much fun..

im just overwhelmed of the continuous calls I’ve been receiving

from different companies to which I passed my application online..

I also like the idea of being into different places..

ive been bored to death here in our house for the past three weeks and

a breath of fresh air could be so satisfying to my situation right now..

unfortunately, though I travel a lot nowadays because of my job interviews,

my money is running out na because of my constant cabhopping..

(what shall I do?? I really don’t know how to get to their places

especially in Makati which I am not that familiar to)
A while ago, I had my interview and exam with Asia Partnership

or also called as Asia Call Center Link..

it is like the agency for all potential call center agents because its

clients include different call center companies..

they are providing initial interviews, technical and

comprehensive exams and endorsements to be forwarded to different

call center companies for a prospective call center agent application..

luckily, I’ve been endorsed in two of the high-end call center companies

here in the Philippines – Parlance Systems, Inc. and Convergys..

they were able to schedule me for my interview with the

said companies in Monday and Tuesday, respectively…

I wouldn’t want to blow this chance cause I heard that the compensation

is good for both companies and one of the reasons why im enthusiastically

seeking for a job right now is to earn money, of course..

as much as possible, id like to support my own review studies for my board exam..

that I can only do if I will have a stable job in less than a month..

(the enrolment in review centers starts this October)

A call center agent career is just temporary I guess.. but we’ll see..

just keeping my head tight and my feet on the ground..

| in a rush..

geez!! Globe Telecom's HR called me 30 minutes ago.. she told me about my application and i had my initial interview right away.. she told me to come to their office at 3pm this afternoon in boni, mandaluyong to have my exam.. hope i wont mess this up.. see 'ya folks!

| why?

why cant you just show a little bit of love for me??
why cant you give me the benefit of the doubt??
why cant you unplug yourself from the past??

I just wanna vent out..

Though im trying my hardest to get over you and accept the fact that you can never give an ounce of love for me, the more that im missing you.. I know that "love is too profound to be taken lightly", but that’s not what I’ve been doing.. I’ve taken lots of sincerity about it and im fucking sure about my feelings for you.. but that’s the irony of life.. maybe this is a way of paying my dues.. I just want this to be over and move on.. I’m so in pain right now..

"I wont cry no more, I wont drown in my tears, I wont die no more, I got over my fears.. and im moving on.. boy, I know what to do.. cause I might be better off without you and we both know that it’s true.. "

:-( still weeping..

| what i've been watching lately..

Pinoy Big Brother (ABS-CBN)

Insights..
Oh I just love the soap.. the real soap of real life.. i mean there’s no way the other soaps can be so real than that.. or they cant even be closer to what reality PBB has in stored for us.. the creators of PBB, as well as the original BB, must have put a lot of efforts in making this project.. im a reality TV fan and I must say that I haven’t seen real lives closer than this.. you know, all the romance, the bickering, and the twists among the housemates is an exact mirror image of the outside world..
The character I love the most..
Uncle Sam… woah!! every inch of him makes me sweat and he continues to amuse me every time I watch PBB.. his smile is perfectly incomparable (thanks to Close-Up for discovering such great lad)... when he first came in to the house, I’ve been thinking hard where did I see him.. and thanks to Barbie Almalbis’ video that made my inept talent of remembering faces work this time and made me comprehend that he’s, in fact, in her video.. the guy who’s been chasing her from the time he saw her on the bus.. as a matter of fact, I have a song for sam.. and it goes like this, “when I see you smile, I can change the world… woah! you know that I can do anything.. when I see you smile, I see the ray of light… woah! I see the shadows right through the rain.. when I see you smile, baby when I see you smile at me (in front of the cam)”.. it’s actually from the hit song of Uncle Sam (the real one) himself entitled “When I See You Smile”..
The character I hate the most..
It’s certainly JB.. ahh! I just hate him for continuously making issues about his other housemates, except for Say for sure.. he’s constantly backstabbering those innocent peeps and eww he is so irritating whenever he talks like nagpapaawa because obviously, he’s not that type of person.. I guess that he hasn’t changed from being bad to being good according to his first footage.. I mean based from what I’ve been seeing, he’s no good at all..
The characters I'm fond of watching..
Uma, simply because I believe that he’s a closet queen and id love to see him come out of the wardrobe and tell everyone that he’s gay… Chx, for reasons that I can relate to her so much.. nah! Not totally the flirty-side of her but her being liberated and outspoken about her feelings (I have nothing against her kissing Sam cause if I were in her position at that time – tipsy and in his arms – I would probably have done the same thing, or more than that I guess hehe).. and I like to see her with Rico as well.. and Rico for having such wonderful bud.. oohh!! I just love his abs.. but since he’s out of the house.. my eyes are all set to SAM! Go Sam!!

Fear Factor Reality Stars Special (AXN)
The contestants..
Im a fan of the show eversince.. and reality tv as well.. and watching my fave reality stars all chock-full in one of my fave reality TV shows is something I must see and should not miss.. the contestants were Reichen (winner of the Amazing Race 4 – gay!), Jenna (winner of Survivor Amazon), Ethan (winner of Survivor Africa – Jenna’s bf), Omarosa (applicant in The Apprentice) and the other two were a guy from The Bachelorette and a girl (3rd placer in American Idol 1).. I am very much familiar with the first four contestants cause I was able to watch their respective shows especially Reichen, who happens to be my greatest reality fantasy before.. Reichen is such a gorgeous gay with a body that is so sexy and his muscles are in the right places… I wasn’t able to watch American Idol 1 that’s why I cant recall the girl’s name.. it wasn’t aired kase here before..

The synopsis..
I cant write down the details about the stunts but just to give a quick sum up.. the first one eliminated was Reichen (what a spoil!) and then Jenna.. next is Amarosa and the AI girl.. and then Ethan.. and the winner was the Bachelorette guy.. I was disappointed of course cause I was rooting for Reichen.. I was so glad pa naman to see him back in TV.. but it was okay though.. great fight.. The show continues not to fail my expectations of watching really gross, nasty, horrifying stunts.. to catch it, tune in to AXN this Sunday at 11 am (plugging!)

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (Star Movies)
Déjà Vu

Me and my best friend’s favorite movie way back in high school.. we see ourselves as romy (nap) and michele (me) for reasons that in real life, I am the dumber one wehehe and he knows what to do all the time.. because back then, nap used to decide for me.. he practically controlled my life.. just kidding! We even planned to go to the prom with our hair dyed and with a cool outfit, preferably neon ones to steal the crowd’s attention.. just like what Romy and michele did in the movie, although with different colors of outfit.. but the plan was sabotaged because of a major offense we committed to our school.. actually, it was I who made the offense and he was just put into it because of me (my apologies, nap!) but that issue was already over and we’re starting our friendship again hehe..

The pinnacle of the story..
It was when they danced with Sandy, Michele’s long time admirer slash a nerdy-freak-turned-the-most-successful-person-in-their-batch, together with the beat of Time After Time.. oh it was so cool.. I was rolling on the floor when I first watched it.. their choreography was off the hook but it was funny.. I loved it!

INXS Rockstar Finale (Star World)
The champ..

The final three rockers (Mig, Marty and J.D.) began the finale by singing covers from the list of songs from the previous shows – it was their personal choice, actually! After their performances, the band eliminated someone, and unfortunately, that someone happened to be Mig (a true Filipino pride). I was hoping for him to win even before the start of the competition.. but it was okay.. at least he showed to the whole world innumerably that Filipinos are flexible and that we know how to rock!! Yeah.. props to you Mig!! And then only Marty and J.D. remained, and they each took on a classic INXS hit for their last hurrah! Following a tough deliberation, INXS made their big decision, and J.D. was chosen as the frontman for their future tour. Ahh!! I just don’t get it.. J.D. is a no rocker at all.. he may have the best looks in the appearance department, but in the talent department, he’s a middle man.. well, one thing good about him though was that he knows how to warm up the crowd and that I think is the sole reason why INXS chose him to be their next vocalist…

The other shows..
Close-Up-To-Fame Grand Finals (ABS-CBN) – I love the winners.. they truly deserved it. Way to go jayson and “I forgot the name of the girl – my bad!”
The Pacifier (DVD c/o helen) – vin has taken a different role but incredibly nailed it.. he’s such a wonderful actor and he was so hilarious with those kids..
Monster-In-Law (DVD c/o helen) – the squabbling and wrangling of jlo and her soon-to-be mother-in-law was something me and my mom enjoyed while eating spaghetti.. we laughed hard and we cried, as always, at the end of the movie (mababaw kase luha namen eh!)
Mean Girls (DVD c/o kuya) – for the 2nd time.. I hate plastics!! But could you help yourself not to be plastic when everybody else is?? Hmm..
Freaky Friday (Disney Channel) – I was amazed to see the guy I had a crush on in the TV Series One Tree Hill, in movies like A Cinderella Story and House of Wax.. he was the love interest of Lindsay Lohan in the said movie.. Cool, huh!

| thought of the day..

Oh well, I can say that I did great in my job interview awhile ago.. I passed their 1st and 2nd interviews and they are now endorsing my application to the supervisor to determine what account could they possibly put me in.. im hoping for the best as of now but im still considering a lot of things.. I’d still be pursuing my application to other companies though.. it’s good to have a lot of choices before signing any agreement that could possibly change my life.. since this can be my first job, though I don’t wanna be choosy, I just like to have a great start..

I didn’t think that the word thought could be that significant for me this day.. my interviewer actually taught me how to enunciate it properly (you know, putting your tongue between your teeth while emphasizing the "th-") darn it! I should’ve known that long time ago.. so while I was in a cab (cause I really don’t know how to get there – stupid me!) to my way home, I cant help myself mumbling the word over and over again.. the cab driver probably thought that I’m crazy, huh??

inxs,

my nephew already knows how to do the "close-open" thingy.. im so proud of him hehe.. a very fast learner child.. he's my angel!

| -= ^in da club^ =-

im so into trance and club mix right now.. oh just love the rhythm and the beat.. check out Hed Kandi’s compilations.. the best club anthems of ‘em all…

currently enjoying Chicane’s No Ordinary Morning, Goldfrapp’s Utopia (Sunroom Mix), and The Source’s You’ve Got The Love (Original Mix) featuring Candi Staton.. those mixes were so hot.. like ‘em so much..

also like Bonnie Bailey’s Ever After (Eric’s Beach Mix).. the lyrics is great and I just cant help myself not liking it so much..

“And now we're slightly weathered, we're slightly worn

Our hands grip together eye to eye through the storm yet

I still believe in ever after with you yeh

Cuz life is a pleasure with you by my side

And there ain't no current in this river we can't ride

I still believe in ever after with you”

as well as Benny Benassi’s Satisfaction (thanks emjay..) im in a partee mode right now :-) to think that I have a job interview later.. oh well, why should i care.. im seizing the moment right now!

| @ 7:35 am

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yesterday I had my preboard exams for the 3rd time.. I was expecting that they will give the same test questions as for the previous ones.. but I got disappointed when I look at the test papers with different set of questions.. WTF! We were so pissed off with that (me and my batchmates).. but we still do hope we’re gonna pass that test (we’re keeping our fingers crossed!)

=====
we have our clearances signed by different departments.. we got the chance to finally have a tour at our new building.. it was so cool.. the façade was fantastic and the walls were so beautiful.. it’s like we’re in a hotel.. (check it out for yourself.. the new building of FEU – formerly FEU hospital)

=====
it was nearly seven when I got home.. surprisingly, the hr of one of my prospect companies for my job application called me up.. she verified about my application and then I have my fone interview right away.. and then she scheduled me for a personal interview the next day at 2pm.. got chills on my bone.. but I still to like to try it though..

=====
what a great morning indeed!! New breath, new life, new perception about life.. had a blast – go figure peeps!

| grandma's berbi

...... today is my lola's 91st birthday ......
... never thought she'd reach this far ...
.............. way to go grandma! ......
............ pretty tough, huh? .............
... she used to be a tough woman ....
..... but she's still strong and kicking! ....
. though she has Alzheimer's disease na..
........... love you still, grandma!!........
............ hugs and kisses for you.........
..................... mwah!!?!?..................

| Hail to ORIGINAL PINOY MUSIC!

Im so digging OPM right now… really, just cant have sufficient listening to their songs.. not just they have their own unique styles (which I think is most important to all the artists), they also have this quality or shall I say ability to bring you out of the real world – and continually dream (my fave pastime, I must say!)

Ugh..

Nina’s Constantly is my top pick of all the songs I’ve been listening to these past few days.. maybe because I can relate to the song so much and that I know that the song fits me so well… with how my love life turns our these days.. urgh!! Next up is Hale’s The Day You Said Goodnight.. I love it for the fact that I watch Green Rose but even before it became the OST of the said soap, I’ve been enchanted with how the lyrics of the song goes.. Next is Cueshé’s Stay.. I believe that every one of us has this one shot at destiny (just as the line from the song goes) and that we should not throw away all the opportunities that come along our way – it goes with all aspects of life (lemme generalize!)

and then Kitchie Nadal’s Same Ground is so enchanting.. wish I could meet her in person.. im such a fan! Oh!! Karel Marquez’s Pangarap is one of my favorites as well.. not just because it was the OST of Oh! Feel Young but also because it was kinda rock and I just love seeing and listening to a girl who knows how to crank it up, who knows how to ROCK!! And so Imago’s Yakap has rocked me on as well.. too bad I had a bad memory of the song and that I do not want to elaborate..

MYMP’s Especially For You… hmm.. for someone again (geez! This heart of mine really loves music!! Harhar) – singing the melody “especially for you, I wanna let you know what I was going through.. all the time we were apart I thought of you, you were in my heart, my love never changed I still feel the same..”

How could I forget to mention the song that popularizes the best reality TV show in phil. television.. im talking about none other than Pinoy Big Brother’s OST Pinoy Ako by Orange and Lemons.. ahihi.. in excess (or INXS from Star World’s Rocckkstar INXS), just cant take my eyes off of Sam – the newest housemate… Wooohh!!! He’s totally hot – I got a boner hehe.. my bad!! Oh by the way I also like O&L’s Hanggang Kailan.. really, I thought that the title of the song is Umuwi ka na Baby because as the line from the song goes “umuwi ka na baby, di na ako sanay ng wala ka.. mahirap ang mag-isa”

Southborder’s Sweet is so funky.. not to mention that they collaborated with Jinky of Freestyle.. with her soulful voice plus the rnb rhythm of the song, woah.. it was indeed a song with jam-packed talents and different flavors..

Bamboo’s Hallelujah and F.U. were the best.. the best band ever.. the way he performs and the message to every song they sing, I couldn’t agree more when others named them as the best band ever in the country.. arrgh!! Need to watch at least one of their shows, huh?

More of my favorites include.. Brownman Revival, Soapdish, Spongecola, Barbie Almalbis and of course, the Champions especially Sarah, Mark, Erik, Christian and Rachelle Ann (she’s my former schoolmate… and im so proud of her)..

More to OPM Music!! Rock ON!!

| @ 7:13 am

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just finished updating my blogs.. skillfully did my tag-board.. whew!! it took a lot of efforts to finally figure out how to post it nyok3!

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currently studying for my pre-board exams.. i still couldnt get the idea of having this.. it's so mind-freaking.. it's pretty obvious that we are the only ones treated like this in our batch.. my other friends from the other department do not have to take this exam even if they failed the previous one.. the reason.. simply because they will soon have their actual review and will soon have their actual pre-board.. hope i pass the exam this time..

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my monitor sucks!! it's so yellowish and i couldnt even adjust the settings.. and so id like to apologize for the color of my tag-board.. i just cant distinguish between what is red and what is pink.. or what is blue and what is cyan.. or even what is red and what is orange... churi! my bad! ill fix it right away once i finished kicking my ass to this monitor..

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cant have enough of the dirty ice cream i have the other day.. still craving for more.. too bad all of my cousins were hungry as a bear that i havent been able to spare some of it and put it in our ref... when will i have such thing again??!? huhu.. my mom told me that ill be having exactly the same cart but of different flavors during my grad party wehehe.. chill out!

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dont wanna think of someone who's not even thinking of me.. :-(

| he's back, and so is my endless day-dreaming..

The man who brought me joy and tears, the man who let me feel how to be cared the most and the man who I’ve been dying to see for the past 17 days is finally back.. what a great feeling indeed, waking up, opening my kinky eyes from like a thousand years of sleep and looking at my fone’s inbox his message telling me that he’s back.. though he was here last Saturday pa, still the thought that he texted me to announce me his return is something I’m truly happy for.. waahh.. I miss him so much.. hastily, the memories of how we met and the times we’ve been together flash back for the nth time..

He was just one of my online friends before.. (thanks to downelink for letting me meet him) I remembered that he sent me a message first.. he was in the states at that time.. we agreed to meet each other once he gets back in the Philippines.. but it seemed that he’s forgotten all about our sort-of “agreement” when he landed the country.. but it was okay, of course.. and then one time, he sent me a message again in another site (thanks to g4m for being a great host haha!).. from then on, we constantly texted each other.. woah!!

I was with my friend’s house one time because we had a sleepover (literally!! We just sleep) for our thesis.. I don’t know why and I don’t know how I woke up at 3 in the morning.. I looked at my fone’s screen and bam! I have a message.. it was from him telling me where I was at that moment.. I immediately replied and told him that I was in maceda, part of dapitan in españa, manila.. he told me that he will come over and meet me in front of my friend’s house (it was a condo nga pala!).. after learning that, I brushed my teeth right away and fix my clothes.. OMG! I forgot to fix my hair hehe.. I looked like a high schooler wearing my pambahay only with matching flip flops slipped into my feet.. and then we met, though not in the exact location we agreed on but we finally met each other.. he was one hell of a guy.. he stunningly looked awesome and I felt so shy.. I couldn’t even look at him in the eye worrying that I might look obvious (but hey, why do I care anyway??) he’s simply irresistible.. (now, that I couldn’t agree more!)

He held my hand so tight that I took it away from him, not because I don’t want to feel his hand next to mine but because I am afraid I might not let go of his hand (corny as it may sound but it happened!) and then he introduced me to his bestfwend – dada!! She’s lovely and so kind.. she drove us around and later did I realize that they will take me to his house.. It may sound untruthful but I never felt fear nor danger from the moment I saw him.. it feels like everything was almost perfect every second that I was with him.. I just learned that he lives in recto, which is near in maceda, from that point.. we talked for hours there, trying to catch each other’s feelings.. Trying to know each other well.. it was our first time to talk personally but again, it may sound corny.. but I feel like I’ve known him even before we met, even before we get the chance to know each other.. (maybe because I dreamed of him from the time he sent me his first message in downe) – tell me how could I forget a face like that, huh?

Then after more than 3 hours of non-stop talking as well as feeling each other (haha!), I went home.. he even gave me money to pay my cab driver.. that was so nakakahiya talaga!! but of course, I thanked him for that..

Then the next day, we had a sleepover again at my other friend’s house in cubao.. it was for our project naman in broadcasting.. I always smile whenever I think about the time he surprised me at around 3 in the morning.. I was sleeping back then in the couch when my friend woke me up and told me that he’s calling (they know about him kase).. I answered the fone and then he told me that he was near our place na.. I was shocked because prior to that, we agreed that he will not see me until morning so I was expecting that he will come over the next day pa but then he rushed into our place not even minding the danger ahead of him, especially in cubao, during that moment.. woah!! It made my heart so big talaga!! I couldn’t thank him enough for showing me endless care and love (nah!! I guess not..) and then he went home at 5:30 in the morning I guess..

The following day after our sleepover, I went to his house at around 3 in the morning.. just cant help myself not to see him before the final defense of our project in broadcasting (you know, for good luck hehe!).. he entertained me so well and we slept for like two hours to gain more strength.. I could not wish more than to wake up beside the one I loved the most.. (yeah, I must admit that I even loved him during our first meeting..) ever heard of love at first sight? I guess I just have one.. honestly, it was one of the best days of my life..

After our final defense that day, he fetched me.. I am so touched.. what can I say?? And then from that day, he fetched me after classes until he left for palawan.. and now he’s back.. gosh!! What shall I do?? I wanna go to their house and welcome him with my biggest hug, but I cant.. I have learned from him (while he was in palawan) that he already gave his heart to someone else in the past.. it split my heart apart - methaporically.. I even told him that he can have mine.. but he refused to, it’s so selfish daw!! He doesn’t know that what’s the point of having this heart of mine if I will offer this to other person.. as much as I want him to own my heart, he could not.. he simply could not.. but even that’s the scenario, I will never leave him just as the line from a song goes..

“I will never leave you, hold on tight
Promise to stay forever by your side
And I will never leave you
Promise I’ll stay forever
I will never leave you behind..”

Words aren’t enough to tell you how I feel, even actions cant express exactly the way I feel, but if you will just listen to my heart and own it like yours, you will learn that I can love you even forevermore…

| happy christening, josh matthew!!

well, today is a very important occasion for the whole family.. it's the christening of our own baby jm, a four-month old son of my brother.. woah!! he's grown so big and so heavy, i must say! well, the ceremony started at 10:30am at Holy Family Parish in our community (it's been years since i last saw the church :-) ).. he has lots of ninongs and ninangs (including me) and thank GOD that he didn't have his tantrums during the rest of the ceremony.. we took pictures and videos and stuff just to make memories of one of the important days of his life.. hmm.. i wonder if i were given that attention and efforts when i was the one being christened.. anyways, after the ceremony, we went to our house to entertain our guests with our foods, drinks and a lotta ice cream hehe (we hired sorbetes cart and have the dirty ice cream hehe - so childish).. but i think the children loved it.. and being the stage ninong, i gladly took the role of Mamang Sorbetero haha.. the foods were great and the guests were treated so well, of course with the rest of the cast - my mom, my aunt, my sister-in-law/mother of jm, and the rest of my lola's (those who doesn't have Alzheimer's Disease yet ahihihi).. then, the rest of our relatives came in the middle of the afternoon and we catched up with lots of stories and gossips with each other.. ohh!! this is one hell of a day.. the crowd and the noise brought about by the kids were so overwhelming.. really, i had great time hanging out with my family.. too bad that my bestfriend didnt come to celebrate this special event with me.. but instead of making a sad face, there are still more reasons for me to make this day a happy day..