| 1st-time glitches..

earlier this day, i got my first call.. and lucky me (sarcastic) for having an irate caller for the first time.. it was this old lady trying to trace where her refund went.. and since she has these lots of credit cards in her account history, i dont know where to look from.. i raised my hand trying to escalate my call to the first available team leader there is.. and one even helped me out.. unfortunately, he wasnt able to locate the refund as well.. and so we called to the next higher person around.. her name is aimee and she's an American.. she tried looking it from the system that we dont have access yet.. and when she found it, the caller told me to give her just a call back.. i was about to tell her where her refund certainly went when she hung up on me.. bummer!! but it was alright.. 1st call – the first shitty call ever hehe!!

but the rest of the calls I had was totally fine.. I mean after that shitty call I have, I had composed myself and tried to be as cheerful as I can be to the callers I have.. lucky me because most of them were so nice to me and very obedient of what I had to say.. though there were some mistakes that I did, well im sure that it was well-compensated by the kind of service I give to them.. surely, I treated them the way I wanted to be treated as well.. another day passed and another day will come with more calls to handle..

| a text to tell..

during one of my sleepless nights, i texted my beloved telling him this..

"I remember the day that we met.. It was at dawn back then.. i was just wearing fliflops on my feet and you approached me and welcomed me with the greatest smile i have ever seen.. Then you took me home.. a home to your heart.. Then, when im about to leave, i knew that i'll not be taking my heart with me anymore.. I was touched when you told me that, "itong mukhang ito, hindi ka pababayaan nito.." from that point, i knew that i was being taken care of.. I knew that i was in good hands.. And you proved me right.. You showed sincerity to your actions and i was happy with that.. More than happy to be exact.. You were actually the only person who did things like that for me.. I was thankful.. But when you flew for Palawan, it seemed that you dont wanna come back anymore.. Much more when you left for the States.. I cant blame you for that.. People change as well as their feelings and thoughts.. But guess what, my love has always been there for you.. It never changed.. Still trying to check on you through your blogs - well, that's the most i can do at that time.. And now you're back, and obviously trying to get rid of me.. MASAKIT!! guess i have to forget you again for another attempt.. Hope this will be the last cause people do get tired.. Not because there's no love anymore, but because of a realization that what i have for you - no matter how try to offer it to you, you will never accept it cause you were too afraid to give it a try.. Goodbye ***! Best of luck.. My heart will always remember a person like you.."

And then he replied,

"Ey, im not trying to get rid of you.. I've been honest with you.. i cant give something i dont have.. i dont wanna be unfair to you.. I still love my ex.. Ayokong in the end you'd feel like i cheated you.. I do like you, you know that.. But i cant give you what you need.. Besides, i wont be staying in Manila always.. We can be friends though.. Im sorry mah beh, but i dont wanna lie to you or cheat you of something that you deserve.. You deserve someone who would love you as much as you love 'em.."

Im hurting.. i am because im desperately in love with the person.. fate must've gotten her hands on me again.. maybe i dont deserve to have him or the other way around.. but either way - the hell i care.. even if we dont deserve each other, what matters most is that i love the person.. nothing can change that.. even fate can not..

| a tribute to dance..

Madonna's Hung Up

Time goes by so slowly 6x

*** Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up I'm hunging up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up I'm tired of waiting on you

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait
No time to hesitate
Those who run seem to have all the fun
I'm caught upI don't know what to do

Time goes by so slowly 3x
I don't know what to do

*** 2x

Ring ring ring goes the telephone
The lights are on but there's no-one home
Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two
And I'm doneI'm hanging up on you
I can't keep on waiting for you
I know that you're still hesitating
Don't cry for me'cause I
'll find my way you'll wake up one day but it'll be too late

*** till fade..

| nesting..

Tonight will be the start of our nesting period – which lasts for a week.. and tonight, ill be taking calls for the first time.. hope to do so well.. but it’ll be alright if I don’t do good.. what’s good about our job is that there’s always room for improvement.. the trainers including our team leaders make sure that we will do good on the floor.. they were very supportive and very handy at times.. always willing to answer our queries and always willing to explain things that were hard to grasp.. hope to be one of them someday, cause I would really like to share what I have learned from them as well..

| utopia..

As wikipedia defines, utopia, in its most common and general positive meaning, refers to the human efforts to create a better society - a perfect society that does not exist... knowing that, I can say that im a utopian.. always looking forward to live a perfect life where everything I wanna have will be given to me and everything that I want in my life will happen.. cliché as it may sound, but we can never get all the things we want in life.. no matter how we try it, we can never have them all.. somehow, in our journey, there’s always this something that lacks in our life.. something that makes us want to have more.. maybe that’s why humans are insatiable.. because they can never have all the things they want whenever they want it.. sometimes even the person we want to share our life with can never be ours.. it’s just so sad to think that when you know that he’s the one for you, something you were not prepared for came up.. and that’s even more hard to accept because of that something.. though being a utopian is not a good idea cause life will never be the way you want it or even more be perfect for your taste, but I will keep on dreaming that someday, it will be.. cause if there’s something that they cant take away from me, it will be my freewill… my freedom to dream and to do whatever it takes to reach that dream..

| win some, lose some..

Last Monday night, a twist of faith happened.. the results of our midpoint assessment were already told and shockingly, only minority of the class passed (including me).. to make it even more heartbreaking, most of the persons that I grew close to for the past month did not make it.. waahh!! It was really tough for all of us thinking that we have already built rapport with each other and that we really got so close.. it was like a one big happy family being teardown.. though some almost make it, which gave them another chance to pull it through for another week.. but some were being moved to different accounts and worse, some even had to go from the top again.. ahh.. life can be oh so cruel at times.. but that’s why it is unpredictable.. you can never tell what’ll happen next.. to all my friends who have grown so deeply in my heart, I will never forget you guys.. I will always be the ever helpful, cheerful, small ja that you once knew.. see you around!!

| a trip down to memory lane

Last last Saturday was the moment of truth, the moment we’ve all been waiting for.. at last, the long wait was over.. it was the day we finished college – it’s our Graduation Day!!! Oh well, just like one of the ordinary days I’ve been through.. the excitement – it was all spoiled out because of the long wait (literally) after our final exams.. it could’ve been more surreal if they scheduled it just a few weeks after our exams.. but they did not.. they scheduled it almost two months after our finals which was not that good and not that as exciting anymore.. nevertheless, I managed to enjoy the event in amidst of these thoughts..

We were told to dress in a corporate attire – but does it mean that if we’re not properly dressed we’ll not be able to march… nah.. of course we can wear whatever we want.. anyways, it’s our graduation.. there’s no stopping us from climbing the stage and taking in our final bow.. even the way we dressed at that time..

We arrived to the venue (guess what?? it was held at feu auditorium which is just in front of our building..) ahead of time.. and you know, the normal stuff – picture picture.. yeah!! we took a lot of pictures.. I might not be able to upload it all here.. sowee.. and then we were told to fall in line and wear our togas.. ahhhh..

And when our name was called, geez!! super sarap ng feeling.. and then we have our baccalaureate mass which I took part as the second reader.. ahihi.. and then after that is the graduation proper.. they told us that special awards will be given for outstanding students and for those who showed leadership skills… it was kinda surprise cause they didn’t announce the recipients of such awards prior to that day – and so I was called hehe to receive one of them.. and so as my fellow colleagues who showed exemplary leadership skills and service to the students.. congratulations to all of us..

And then the commencement speaker uttered his incredibly long speech.. oh boy!! It bored me to death.. as in I was literally putting my head to the back rest and yawned a LOT of times.. too bad, my fone was not with me then so we're not able to take pictures just to kill time.. but eventually, the speech ended!!

After that, we formed at the side of the stage to be called one by one to receive our diplomas… Yipee!! I was thinking then how I started myself in feu.. I was previously enrolled to the other school before getting myself in feu.. and then, I had no idea that I’ll be having a trimestral basis then and no idea that I’ll be part of the pioneer batch.. the subjects were difficult.. I hated calculus the most though I really love math.. and electronics as well.. communications subjects are my kind of subjects.. I excel there more than in elex subjs… then we had terror professors who put our lives to the test.. but then we really have nice ones who became our friends.. and the projects were annoying and the deadlines were even more annoying.. a lot of pressure to deal with.. much more when thesis came.. we had more sleepovers than ever.. more bickering and fighting.. ahh!! Those were the days ill be missing for sure when I get out of school.. in amidst of all thos thoughts running through my head, my name was called.. tears were peeping through my eyes while receiving the diploma, having my final bow with all smiles, shaking hands with my professors and kissing our very loving department head… ohh that was really a heart-felt moment..

And of course, what could be more emotionally disturbing than bidding goodbyes to your friends who have become and will always be a part of your life.. as well as thanking your parents and congratulating them for a job well done.. that for me, though seemed ordinary day, was the day I will never forget..

CONGRATULATIONS FELLOW

Graduates!!