| it pays a lot to wait..

Somebody got hired!!!!

And that person is me…

After weeks of struggling through the interviews and exams, finally, I was hired by Sitel (located in Eastwood City, Libis).. it was so cool.. we started like 30 applicants yesterday morning and then we have the interview with the hr manager.. it’s like a group interview where she will be asking you several questions but you have to answer 'em in front of everybody else.. that was so intense.. but I made it through – lucky me! and then we have our exam.. it was 2 exams actually with four sets each.. whew! it was so tiring and mind-boggling.. I had my lunch at around 2 pm na.. I was so worried cause I have a scheduled interview and exam that same day at 4pm in Convergys Makati.. so I was thinking if I would be able to catch up with that schedule or not.. but the answer was obvious cause I’ll be having my phone simulation at 3pm.. and fortunately I passed again.. it was my day I must say.. and then they let me wait for a couple of hours for the job offer.. it was then that I met new people (the ones that were included in our batch).. we were narrowed down into 6 ata who made it.. we even exchanged numbers to keep in touch wehehe.. and then that’s it.. but my ex who’s apparently working in Convergys told me to pursue my exam.. Convergys is like the best call center here in the Phils. so the offer is way too great there.. but I still don’t know.. though I want more options, still, im considering a lot of things.. im just praying to have a clear mind and to decide what would be best for me..

| desperation..

Life is so full of twists and turns that nobody could ever explain why it is such.. the sick cycle it brings to everyone else makes a person stronger or if that person isn’t that buoyant enough to know that the cycle is just a part of life, the person tends to suffer desperation and that makes life even sicker.. knowing that what’s happening around us is just an element of life yet we could not control it to live our lives the way we want to..

desperate hopeless-romantic..
Yeah! I am one.. just had a tragic ending of such a lovely story I could ever tell.. isn’t it odd that when you know he is the right person for you at the right time you know it is, things got complicated like he isn’t ready to make commitments.. that kinda sucks a lot.. ever since I was a child, I have dreamed of one great love.. one that could sweep me off my feet.. one that could care for me so much like no else does.. one that I foresee I could be with in the future –sharing stories with me, laughing jokes with me and just enjoying every moment we could possibly have – and one that could show me love and make me wanna love him, too.. the thing is, I found these ideas of one great love with him.. I am just not-so-happy with what I’ve heard from him.. I cried a lot.. cause at one point in time, I thought I’ve seen love in his eyes.. but I’ve mistakenly identified admiration from love.. and I just realized that I just don’t wanna be admired nor liked.. I wanna be loved.. and then there’s somebody else offering me love the way I offered him.. but I guess it wouldn’t be fair for him if I consider his offer knowing that I, in fact, offered the same intensity (or more) of love to someone I love so dearly.. the last time I’ve been hurt like this was when I was in highschool when the girl I loved so much cheated on me.. it took me years back then to finally get over with the whole scenario.. and I guess it would take me even more time now to finally recover from what happened.. I’ve been hurting.. I am still hurting and I don’t want anybody to suffer the same thing I am going through right now.. so much for the selfish little acts I used to do before.. it’s time for me to grow up and be a man to take it all by myself and not grab somebody else to share the pain with me.. what is haunting me more is that I learned to like the things that he like a lot.. blogging, chucks, growing goatee, long hair, Hed Kandi’s music.. at some point, I’d like to forget about all these things but then I have grasped to my intellect that I don’t just like these things, I love ‘em – with or without the person who introduced me these.. just sad that he’s too preoccupied not to see that I can do almost everything for him.. though I really wanna get over him, I don’t think I can.. cause the whole thought of him still lingers on my mind.. I didn’t love him for a reason, I just did..

desperate son/career-seeker..
As much as I’d like to have a job right now not for myself, but for my mom, it seems that fate has gotten her hands again to give me the difficult tests life has to bring.. I’ve been desperately looking for a job for like two weeks already.. and sad to say, im still on the cliff.. so unsure of what other companies think of me.. some would give me a call but others won’t.. some would show willingness, even offering me a job right after graduation but after further evaluation, they would tell me that I am not in a fit for the position.. waahh!! Some would even let me wait for a couple of hours just to tell me that I don’t have what they’re looking for.. rejection.. I have lots of rejection in my life.. if I would tell you, it will take me at least a day to give you the exact details.. though I have been rejected by other companies, I still believe in myself.. I do not lose hope.. though I cried a lot, especially when I was this –close- to hiring.. but then again I have to take it as a man.. you could not please everybody as they say.. and you could not get all the things you want.. most of the times, it was not given to you for reason that He has bigger plans for you.. and that one should realize that what we are going through is just a preparation for the next step.. so im still keeping my head up high, thinking that in time, I will make it through.. and by that time, I would be so happy knowing that I have gone through several trials to finally get what I want.. and what would be more satisfying than to achieve what others think you can’t.. AJA!

And so desperation serves two purposes in life.. one is to motivate a person, you know, to give a person an inner drive to make things happen.. and the other is to let the person realize that life would not be as interesting to live without these challenges you get to have along the way.. life, then, would be ohh so boring.. so keep on dreaming and keep on fighting.. im sure it pays a lot to wait..

| me, myself and jay..

you might be wondering who that jay is… well, it’s my newly found friend?? (uh-uh!).. it’s just so happen that we have the same nickname.. funny, isn’t it?? Oh well, he’s a guy from Sitel call center in Libis.. I met him through g4m.. he’s so nice and so helpful.. he knows that I am currently looking for a job and without thinking twice, he offered me help and even promised to refer me to the hr of their company.. ahh!!! I really don’t know what to say.. though we haven’t met personally yet, it seems that he’s more than willing to offer me the best possible aid he could give.. such an angel! Hehe.. hope to know him more and wishing that this start could lead into something favorable for both of us..

| in pursuit of a prospect career (CSR/TSR)

I didn’t think that job hunting could be so much fun..

im just overwhelmed of the continuous calls I’ve been receiving

from different companies to which I passed my application online..

I also like the idea of being into different places..

ive been bored to death here in our house for the past three weeks and

a breath of fresh air could be so satisfying to my situation right now..

unfortunately, though I travel a lot nowadays because of my job interviews,

my money is running out na because of my constant cabhopping..

(what shall I do?? I really don’t know how to get to their places

especially in Makati which I am not that familiar to)
A while ago, I had my interview and exam with Asia Partnership

or also called as Asia Call Center Link..

it is like the agency for all potential call center agents because its

clients include different call center companies..

they are providing initial interviews, technical and

comprehensive exams and endorsements to be forwarded to different

call center companies for a prospective call center agent application..

luckily, I’ve been endorsed in two of the high-end call center companies

here in the Philippines – Parlance Systems, Inc. and Convergys..

they were able to schedule me for my interview with the

said companies in Monday and Tuesday, respectively…

I wouldn’t want to blow this chance cause I heard that the compensation

is good for both companies and one of the reasons why im enthusiastically

seeking for a job right now is to earn money, of course..

as much as possible, id like to support my own review studies for my board exam..

that I can only do if I will have a stable job in less than a month..

(the enrolment in review centers starts this October)

A call center agent career is just temporary I guess.. but we’ll see..

just keeping my head tight and my feet on the ground..

| in a rush..

geez!! Globe Telecom's HR called me 30 minutes ago.. she told me about my application and i had my initial interview right away.. she told me to come to their office at 3pm this afternoon in boni, mandaluyong to have my exam.. hope i wont mess this up.. see 'ya folks!

| why?

why cant you just show a little bit of love for me??
why cant you give me the benefit of the doubt??
why cant you unplug yourself from the past??

I just wanna vent out..

Though im trying my hardest to get over you and accept the fact that you can never give an ounce of love for me, the more that im missing you.. I know that "love is too profound to be taken lightly", but that’s not what I’ve been doing.. I’ve taken lots of sincerity about it and im fucking sure about my feelings for you.. but that’s the irony of life.. maybe this is a way of paying my dues.. I just want this to be over and move on.. I’m so in pain right now..

"I wont cry no more, I wont drown in my tears, I wont die no more, I got over my fears.. and im moving on.. boy, I know what to do.. cause I might be better off without you and we both know that it’s true.. "

:-( still weeping..

| what i've been watching lately..

Pinoy Big Brother (ABS-CBN)

Insights..
Oh I just love the soap.. the real soap of real life.. i mean there’s no way the other soaps can be so real than that.. or they cant even be closer to what reality PBB has in stored for us.. the creators of PBB, as well as the original BB, must have put a lot of efforts in making this project.. im a reality TV fan and I must say that I haven’t seen real lives closer than this.. you know, all the romance, the bickering, and the twists among the housemates is an exact mirror image of the outside world..
The character I love the most..
Uncle Sam… woah!! every inch of him makes me sweat and he continues to amuse me every time I watch PBB.. his smile is perfectly incomparable (thanks to Close-Up for discovering such great lad)... when he first came in to the house, I’ve been thinking hard where did I see him.. and thanks to Barbie Almalbis’ video that made my inept talent of remembering faces work this time and made me comprehend that he’s, in fact, in her video.. the guy who’s been chasing her from the time he saw her on the bus.. as a matter of fact, I have a song for sam.. and it goes like this, “when I see you smile, I can change the world… woah! you know that I can do anything.. when I see you smile, I see the ray of light… woah! I see the shadows right through the rain.. when I see you smile, baby when I see you smile at me (in front of the cam)”.. it’s actually from the hit song of Uncle Sam (the real one) himself entitled “When I See You Smile”..
The character I hate the most..
It’s certainly JB.. ahh! I just hate him for continuously making issues about his other housemates, except for Say for sure.. he’s constantly backstabbering those innocent peeps and eww he is so irritating whenever he talks like nagpapaawa because obviously, he’s not that type of person.. I guess that he hasn’t changed from being bad to being good according to his first footage.. I mean based from what I’ve been seeing, he’s no good at all..
The characters I'm fond of watching..
Uma, simply because I believe that he’s a closet queen and id love to see him come out of the wardrobe and tell everyone that he’s gay… Chx, for reasons that I can relate to her so much.. nah! Not totally the flirty-side of her but her being liberated and outspoken about her feelings (I have nothing against her kissing Sam cause if I were in her position at that time – tipsy and in his arms – I would probably have done the same thing, or more than that I guess hehe).. and I like to see her with Rico as well.. and Rico for having such wonderful bud.. oohh!! I just love his abs.. but since he’s out of the house.. my eyes are all set to SAM! Go Sam!!

Fear Factor Reality Stars Special (AXN)
The contestants..
Im a fan of the show eversince.. and reality tv as well.. and watching my fave reality stars all chock-full in one of my fave reality TV shows is something I must see and should not miss.. the contestants were Reichen (winner of the Amazing Race 4 – gay!), Jenna (winner of Survivor Amazon), Ethan (winner of Survivor Africa – Jenna’s bf), Omarosa (applicant in The Apprentice) and the other two were a guy from The Bachelorette and a girl (3rd placer in American Idol 1).. I am very much familiar with the first four contestants cause I was able to watch their respective shows especially Reichen, who happens to be my greatest reality fantasy before.. Reichen is such a gorgeous gay with a body that is so sexy and his muscles are in the right places… I wasn’t able to watch American Idol 1 that’s why I cant recall the girl’s name.. it wasn’t aired kase here before..

The synopsis..
I cant write down the details about the stunts but just to give a quick sum up.. the first one eliminated was Reichen (what a spoil!) and then Jenna.. next is Amarosa and the AI girl.. and then Ethan.. and the winner was the Bachelorette guy.. I was disappointed of course cause I was rooting for Reichen.. I was so glad pa naman to see him back in TV.. but it was okay though.. great fight.. The show continues not to fail my expectations of watching really gross, nasty, horrifying stunts.. to catch it, tune in to AXN this Sunday at 11 am (plugging!)

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (Star Movies)
Déjà Vu

Me and my best friend’s favorite movie way back in high school.. we see ourselves as romy (nap) and michele (me) for reasons that in real life, I am the dumber one wehehe and he knows what to do all the time.. because back then, nap used to decide for me.. he practically controlled my life.. just kidding! We even planned to go to the prom with our hair dyed and with a cool outfit, preferably neon ones to steal the crowd’s attention.. just like what Romy and michele did in the movie, although with different colors of outfit.. but the plan was sabotaged because of a major offense we committed to our school.. actually, it was I who made the offense and he was just put into it because of me (my apologies, nap!) but that issue was already over and we’re starting our friendship again hehe..

The pinnacle of the story..
It was when they danced with Sandy, Michele’s long time admirer slash a nerdy-freak-turned-the-most-successful-person-in-their-batch, together with the beat of Time After Time.. oh it was so cool.. I was rolling on the floor when I first watched it.. their choreography was off the hook but it was funny.. I loved it!

INXS Rockstar Finale (Star World)
The champ..

The final three rockers (Mig, Marty and J.D.) began the finale by singing covers from the list of songs from the previous shows – it was their personal choice, actually! After their performances, the band eliminated someone, and unfortunately, that someone happened to be Mig (a true Filipino pride). I was hoping for him to win even before the start of the competition.. but it was okay.. at least he showed to the whole world innumerably that Filipinos are flexible and that we know how to rock!! Yeah.. props to you Mig!! And then only Marty and J.D. remained, and they each took on a classic INXS hit for their last hurrah! Following a tough deliberation, INXS made their big decision, and J.D. was chosen as the frontman for their future tour. Ahh!! I just don’t get it.. J.D. is a no rocker at all.. he may have the best looks in the appearance department, but in the talent department, he’s a middle man.. well, one thing good about him though was that he knows how to warm up the crowd and that I think is the sole reason why INXS chose him to be their next vocalist…

The other shows..
Close-Up-To-Fame Grand Finals (ABS-CBN) – I love the winners.. they truly deserved it. Way to go jayson and “I forgot the name of the girl – my bad!”
The Pacifier (DVD c/o helen) – vin has taken a different role but incredibly nailed it.. he’s such a wonderful actor and he was so hilarious with those kids..
Monster-In-Law (DVD c/o helen) – the squabbling and wrangling of jlo and her soon-to-be mother-in-law was something me and my mom enjoyed while eating spaghetti.. we laughed hard and we cried, as always, at the end of the movie (mababaw kase luha namen eh!)
Mean Girls (DVD c/o kuya) – for the 2nd time.. I hate plastics!! But could you help yourself not to be plastic when everybody else is?? Hmm..
Freaky Friday (Disney Channel) – I was amazed to see the guy I had a crush on in the TV Series One Tree Hill, in movies like A Cinderella Story and House of Wax.. he was the love interest of Lindsay Lohan in the said movie.. Cool, huh!

| thought of the day..

Oh well, I can say that I did great in my job interview awhile ago.. I passed their 1st and 2nd interviews and they are now endorsing my application to the supervisor to determine what account could they possibly put me in.. im hoping for the best as of now but im still considering a lot of things.. I’d still be pursuing my application to other companies though.. it’s good to have a lot of choices before signing any agreement that could possibly change my life.. since this can be my first job, though I don’t wanna be choosy, I just like to have a great start..

I didn’t think that the word thought could be that significant for me this day.. my interviewer actually taught me how to enunciate it properly (you know, putting your tongue between your teeth while emphasizing the "th-") darn it! I should’ve known that long time ago.. so while I was in a cab (cause I really don’t know how to get there – stupid me!) to my way home, I cant help myself mumbling the word over and over again.. the cab driver probably thought that I’m crazy, huh??

inxs,

my nephew already knows how to do the "close-open" thingy.. im so proud of him hehe.. a very fast learner child.. he's my angel!

| -= ^in da club^ =-

im so into trance and club mix right now.. oh just love the rhythm and the beat.. check out Hed Kandi’s compilations.. the best club anthems of ‘em all…

currently enjoying Chicane’s No Ordinary Morning, Goldfrapp’s Utopia (Sunroom Mix), and The Source’s You’ve Got The Love (Original Mix) featuring Candi Staton.. those mixes were so hot.. like ‘em so much..

also like Bonnie Bailey’s Ever After (Eric’s Beach Mix).. the lyrics is great and I just cant help myself not liking it so much..

“And now we're slightly weathered, we're slightly worn

Our hands grip together eye to eye through the storm yet

I still believe in ever after with you yeh

Cuz life is a pleasure with you by my side

And there ain't no current in this river we can't ride

I still believe in ever after with you”

as well as Benny Benassi’s Satisfaction (thanks emjay..) im in a partee mode right now :-) to think that I have a job interview later.. oh well, why should i care.. im seizing the moment right now!

| @ 7:35 am

=====
yesterday I had my preboard exams for the 3rd time.. I was expecting that they will give the same test questions as for the previous ones.. but I got disappointed when I look at the test papers with different set of questions.. WTF! We were so pissed off with that (me and my batchmates).. but we still do hope we’re gonna pass that test (we’re keeping our fingers crossed!)

=====
we have our clearances signed by different departments.. we got the chance to finally have a tour at our new building.. it was so cool.. the façade was fantastic and the walls were so beautiful.. it’s like we’re in a hotel.. (check it out for yourself.. the new building of FEU – formerly FEU hospital)

=====
it was nearly seven when I got home.. surprisingly, the hr of one of my prospect companies for my job application called me up.. she verified about my application and then I have my fone interview right away.. and then she scheduled me for a personal interview the next day at 2pm.. got chills on my bone.. but I still to like to try it though..

=====
what a great morning indeed!! New breath, new life, new perception about life.. had a blast – go figure peeps!

| grandma's berbi

...... today is my lola's 91st birthday ......
... never thought she'd reach this far ...
.............. way to go grandma! ......
............ pretty tough, huh? .............
... she used to be a tough woman ....
..... but she's still strong and kicking! ....
. though she has Alzheimer's disease na..
........... love you still, grandma!!........
............ hugs and kisses for you.........
..................... mwah!!?!?..................

| Hail to ORIGINAL PINOY MUSIC!

Im so digging OPM right now… really, just cant have sufficient listening to their songs.. not just they have their own unique styles (which I think is most important to all the artists), they also have this quality or shall I say ability to bring you out of the real world – and continually dream (my fave pastime, I must say!)

Ugh..

Nina’s Constantly is my top pick of all the songs I’ve been listening to these past few days.. maybe because I can relate to the song so much and that I know that the song fits me so well… with how my love life turns our these days.. urgh!! Next up is Hale’s The Day You Said Goodnight.. I love it for the fact that I watch Green Rose but even before it became the OST of the said soap, I’ve been enchanted with how the lyrics of the song goes.. Next is Cueshé’s Stay.. I believe that every one of us has this one shot at destiny (just as the line from the song goes) and that we should not throw away all the opportunities that come along our way – it goes with all aspects of life (lemme generalize!)

and then Kitchie Nadal’s Same Ground is so enchanting.. wish I could meet her in person.. im such a fan! Oh!! Karel Marquez’s Pangarap is one of my favorites as well.. not just because it was the OST of Oh! Feel Young but also because it was kinda rock and I just love seeing and listening to a girl who knows how to crank it up, who knows how to ROCK!! And so Imago’s Yakap has rocked me on as well.. too bad I had a bad memory of the song and that I do not want to elaborate..

MYMP’s Especially For You… hmm.. for someone again (geez! This heart of mine really loves music!! Harhar) – singing the melody “especially for you, I wanna let you know what I was going through.. all the time we were apart I thought of you, you were in my heart, my love never changed I still feel the same..”

How could I forget to mention the song that popularizes the best reality TV show in phil. television.. im talking about none other than Pinoy Big Brother’s OST Pinoy Ako by Orange and Lemons.. ahihi.. in excess (or INXS from Star World’s Rocckkstar INXS), just cant take my eyes off of Sam – the newest housemate… Wooohh!!! He’s totally hot – I got a boner hehe.. my bad!! Oh by the way I also like O&L’s Hanggang Kailan.. really, I thought that the title of the song is Umuwi ka na Baby because as the line from the song goes “umuwi ka na baby, di na ako sanay ng wala ka.. mahirap ang mag-isa”

Southborder’s Sweet is so funky.. not to mention that they collaborated with Jinky of Freestyle.. with her soulful voice plus the rnb rhythm of the song, woah.. it was indeed a song with jam-packed talents and different flavors..

Bamboo’s Hallelujah and F.U. were the best.. the best band ever.. the way he performs and the message to every song they sing, I couldn’t agree more when others named them as the best band ever in the country.. arrgh!! Need to watch at least one of their shows, huh?

More of my favorites include.. Brownman Revival, Soapdish, Spongecola, Barbie Almalbis and of course, the Champions especially Sarah, Mark, Erik, Christian and Rachelle Ann (she’s my former schoolmate… and im so proud of her)..

More to OPM Music!! Rock ON!!

| @ 7:13 am

=====
just finished updating my blogs.. skillfully did my tag-board.. whew!! it took a lot of efforts to finally figure out how to post it nyok3!

=====

currently studying for my pre-board exams.. i still couldnt get the idea of having this.. it's so mind-freaking.. it's pretty obvious that we are the only ones treated like this in our batch.. my other friends from the other department do not have to take this exam even if they failed the previous one.. the reason.. simply because they will soon have their actual review and will soon have their actual pre-board.. hope i pass the exam this time..

=====

my monitor sucks!! it's so yellowish and i couldnt even adjust the settings.. and so id like to apologize for the color of my tag-board.. i just cant distinguish between what is red and what is pink.. or what is blue and what is cyan.. or even what is red and what is orange... churi! my bad! ill fix it right away once i finished kicking my ass to this monitor..

=====

cant have enough of the dirty ice cream i have the other day.. still craving for more.. too bad all of my cousins were hungry as a bear that i havent been able to spare some of it and put it in our ref... when will i have such thing again??!? huhu.. my mom told me that ill be having exactly the same cart but of different flavors during my grad party wehehe.. chill out!

=====

dont wanna think of someone who's not even thinking of me.. :-(

| he's back, and so is my endless day-dreaming..

The man who brought me joy and tears, the man who let me feel how to be cared the most and the man who I’ve been dying to see for the past 17 days is finally back.. what a great feeling indeed, waking up, opening my kinky eyes from like a thousand years of sleep and looking at my fone’s inbox his message telling me that he’s back.. though he was here last Saturday pa, still the thought that he texted me to announce me his return is something I’m truly happy for.. waahh.. I miss him so much.. hastily, the memories of how we met and the times we’ve been together flash back for the nth time..

He was just one of my online friends before.. (thanks to downelink for letting me meet him) I remembered that he sent me a message first.. he was in the states at that time.. we agreed to meet each other once he gets back in the Philippines.. but it seemed that he’s forgotten all about our sort-of “agreement” when he landed the country.. but it was okay, of course.. and then one time, he sent me a message again in another site (thanks to g4m for being a great host haha!).. from then on, we constantly texted each other.. woah!!

I was with my friend’s house one time because we had a sleepover (literally!! We just sleep) for our thesis.. I don’t know why and I don’t know how I woke up at 3 in the morning.. I looked at my fone’s screen and bam! I have a message.. it was from him telling me where I was at that moment.. I immediately replied and told him that I was in maceda, part of dapitan in españa, manila.. he told me that he will come over and meet me in front of my friend’s house (it was a condo nga pala!).. after learning that, I brushed my teeth right away and fix my clothes.. OMG! I forgot to fix my hair hehe.. I looked like a high schooler wearing my pambahay only with matching flip flops slipped into my feet.. and then we met, though not in the exact location we agreed on but we finally met each other.. he was one hell of a guy.. he stunningly looked awesome and I felt so shy.. I couldn’t even look at him in the eye worrying that I might look obvious (but hey, why do I care anyway??) he’s simply irresistible.. (now, that I couldn’t agree more!)

He held my hand so tight that I took it away from him, not because I don’t want to feel his hand next to mine but because I am afraid I might not let go of his hand (corny as it may sound but it happened!) and then he introduced me to his bestfwend – dada!! She’s lovely and so kind.. she drove us around and later did I realize that they will take me to his house.. It may sound untruthful but I never felt fear nor danger from the moment I saw him.. it feels like everything was almost perfect every second that I was with him.. I just learned that he lives in recto, which is near in maceda, from that point.. we talked for hours there, trying to catch each other’s feelings.. Trying to know each other well.. it was our first time to talk personally but again, it may sound corny.. but I feel like I’ve known him even before we met, even before we get the chance to know each other.. (maybe because I dreamed of him from the time he sent me his first message in downe) – tell me how could I forget a face like that, huh?

Then after more than 3 hours of non-stop talking as well as feeling each other (haha!), I went home.. he even gave me money to pay my cab driver.. that was so nakakahiya talaga!! but of course, I thanked him for that..

Then the next day, we had a sleepover again at my other friend’s house in cubao.. it was for our project naman in broadcasting.. I always smile whenever I think about the time he surprised me at around 3 in the morning.. I was sleeping back then in the couch when my friend woke me up and told me that he’s calling (they know about him kase).. I answered the fone and then he told me that he was near our place na.. I was shocked because prior to that, we agreed that he will not see me until morning so I was expecting that he will come over the next day pa but then he rushed into our place not even minding the danger ahead of him, especially in cubao, during that moment.. woah!! It made my heart so big talaga!! I couldn’t thank him enough for showing me endless care and love (nah!! I guess not..) and then he went home at 5:30 in the morning I guess..

The following day after our sleepover, I went to his house at around 3 in the morning.. just cant help myself not to see him before the final defense of our project in broadcasting (you know, for good luck hehe!).. he entertained me so well and we slept for like two hours to gain more strength.. I could not wish more than to wake up beside the one I loved the most.. (yeah, I must admit that I even loved him during our first meeting..) ever heard of love at first sight? I guess I just have one.. honestly, it was one of the best days of my life..

After our final defense that day, he fetched me.. I am so touched.. what can I say?? And then from that day, he fetched me after classes until he left for palawan.. and now he’s back.. gosh!! What shall I do?? I wanna go to their house and welcome him with my biggest hug, but I cant.. I have learned from him (while he was in palawan) that he already gave his heart to someone else in the past.. it split my heart apart - methaporically.. I even told him that he can have mine.. but he refused to, it’s so selfish daw!! He doesn’t know that what’s the point of having this heart of mine if I will offer this to other person.. as much as I want him to own my heart, he could not.. he simply could not.. but even that’s the scenario, I will never leave him just as the line from a song goes..

“I will never leave you, hold on tight
Promise to stay forever by your side
And I will never leave you
Promise I’ll stay forever
I will never leave you behind..”

Words aren’t enough to tell you how I feel, even actions cant express exactly the way I feel, but if you will just listen to my heart and own it like yours, you will learn that I can love you even forevermore…

| happy christening, josh matthew!!

well, today is a very important occasion for the whole family.. it's the christening of our own baby jm, a four-month old son of my brother.. woah!! he's grown so big and so heavy, i must say! well, the ceremony started at 10:30am at Holy Family Parish in our community (it's been years since i last saw the church :-) ).. he has lots of ninongs and ninangs (including me) and thank GOD that he didn't have his tantrums during the rest of the ceremony.. we took pictures and videos and stuff just to make memories of one of the important days of his life.. hmm.. i wonder if i were given that attention and efforts when i was the one being christened.. anyways, after the ceremony, we went to our house to entertain our guests with our foods, drinks and a lotta ice cream hehe (we hired sorbetes cart and have the dirty ice cream hehe - so childish).. but i think the children loved it.. and being the stage ninong, i gladly took the role of Mamang Sorbetero haha.. the foods were great and the guests were treated so well, of course with the rest of the cast - my mom, my aunt, my sister-in-law/mother of jm, and the rest of my lola's (those who doesn't have Alzheimer's Disease yet ahihihi).. then, the rest of our relatives came in the middle of the afternoon and we catched up with lots of stories and gossips with each other.. ohh!! this is one hell of a day.. the crowd and the noise brought about by the kids were so overwhelming.. really, i had great time hanging out with my family.. too bad that my bestfriend didnt come to celebrate this special event with me.. but instead of making a sad face, there are still more reasons for me to make this day a happy day..

| is to commit to reciprocate?

Does commitment answer the doubts of love?? Or if you really love someone, will commitment be the only thing he needs to do to reciprocate your love?? I guess not.. you know, there are lot of ways to reciprocate somebody’s love for you.. and for me, commitment is not the only thing you can do to show your loved one that you, in fact, love him as well.. like, you can entrust your secrets with him or appreciate all the little things he has done for you.. these are just few of the alternatives that you can do to let your loved one knows that you’re feeling the same way towards him.. though committing into a relationship is something I take great regard of, but if I do love him so much, just the presence of him completes my day and erases all my doubts.. I know that it may sound so corny but that’s the way I love someone..

I just love him expecting nothing in reciprocity!!

| walk-in..

last wed, i walked in to apply for a customer service rep in people support in makati.. their office is situated in front of makati med and rcbc building as well.. i must say that the building is great.. it's kinda new and there are lots of fast foods in the base of the building.. (sarap kumain!! ahihihi!!) we were assisted by the guards as we entered the building and we were given as well the instructions for the initial interview.. we followed it so well and immediately have our phone interview as the last part of the initial interview.. the interviewer asked a lot of questions bout customer service and stuffs like that.. honestly, i was so unprepared and i was thinking that this was happening so fast and started asking myself if i could take more of this or not.. but then again, i realized that i have come a long way just to be here so why not make the hell out of this... anyways, these are only some of the first-time glitches.. it's my first time to actually have a job application hehe.. maybe, in my next job application i will be able to put up a good stand for myself and deliver myself well.. not that i wasnt able to answer all the questions threw upon me.. it's just that sometimes, along the interview process, i was lost out of words and my mouth was really betraying me - go figure!

anyway, i still had a great day.. even if i have waited for my bestfriend for centuries cause he took the exam already.. but hey, were able to catch things up and we countlessly discussed bout my lovelife -- haha, very interesting hehe!! i must tell that he was stunned everytime i shifted from story to story, from one relationship to another.. undeniably, it has been seven long years before we were able to patch things up again.. and even a whole day cant measure up the amount we have lost each other.. hehe.. even watching lovestruck cant match up with what we had before.. oh!! i miss you bestfriend.. mwah!

| same-sex "ersatz" or "genuine" relationship?

same sex relationship can never be perfect.. you can never force your partner to be faithful in the same way that even a "boy-girl" relationship can never be.. what is important is that at the end of the day you find each other on your side and you're happy knowing that he is yours.. we need to enjoy the relationship while it lasts.. for if you waste your time in doubts and insecurities, you will never appreciate how wonderful it is to fall in love.. to get hurt is a fact that we bargain when we choose to love.. but hey, know what - loving is the essence of our existence.. that is the reason why we were created - to love.. and so let us not count the times that we were hurt.. rather count the times we smiled, we laughed, we love.. it is not how many times we have fallen in love, whether once, twice or a million times. what is important is that when we grow old, we regret nothing because we have loved and that we let those whom we loved feel that we love them.. let us not waste time on doubting that our present relationship might not work or that our partner might be playing around with someone else.. we just continue to love..

and let us not be desperate looking for love.. love always comes at a right time with the right person. corny as it may sound but even in this kind of preference we need to wait for the "right one" just like a woman waiting for her right man. let us not hurry things up, for somewhere out there, there is "him" that will come and will show you the wonders of love...

- a special thanks to kuya jas for this information.. it was indeed substantial for people like me with a lot of questions about same-sex love..

| we just don't design things better, we link them together..

That’s the aphorism of Microlink, my group in Communications subject, last year.. it was certainly one the best groups I ever had in college, but unfortunately, the groupings divided the class into different alliances.. lucky enough, after a year of conflict and misunderstanding about each alliances, the class is whole again and everybody else is unified..

Oohh, our group has gone a long way just to finish the requirements for the said subject.. we were out on the streets late at night just to fix things up.. we even had lots of sleepovers and group meetings to be able to finish the miniature of our design (thanks to kuya marc who provided a gifted hand to put the structures at the right place!!)


The bonding I have with the members of the group requires not only friendship but as well as passion to know these people.. some of ‘em have been my friends from the start of college days but some were not.. that’s the challenge comes along.. to be able to fit into the group or to be left out.. but as the ice breaker and as the most conversationalist (maybe because I have a big mouth – figuratively!), I was able to blend different personalities and was able to deal with lots of attitude problems of the group members..

I still remember the conflict that popped up between Cris, a very special friend of mine, and to some of our groupmates… cris was accused of being the notorious girl, a real offender for reasons that she barely knew at that time.. I acted as the mediator between two parties and fortunately, all things has been settled now.. (grow up kids hehe!!)

Our stay at Lyn’s house was probably the most cherished moment I have with all of ‘em.. we took pictures in their garden with the whole cast of microlink and even had our VTR’s for the final defense of our project.. the VTR making was like the most hilarious thing each of us has done remembering the lines I wrote for each and everyone of us.. (im laughing so hard right now when I remember Ang uttered his spills… geez!! He was so damn stiff and even look like a hostage in a stake out crying out for ransom.. lolz…)

And then the final defense came.. our hearts literally would like to come out of our chest while memorizing the topics we will be discussing.. the presentation was all set, the miniature and the VTR was already in its place for the judges’ viewing.. we did great in the presentation I think, but for the first question tossed upon us… oh well.. we just smirked!! Smirk as in we smirked cause we didn’t know the answer to the question.. not that we really don’t know it but I guess we were just aggravated by the situation we were into and totally have forgotten the lectures we had cause that’s the answer to that f**king question.. but that's okay.. at least, we know in ourselves that we put forward our best efforts to achieve success for the said project.. though we didn’t win the title for the best group, still, I know that in our hearts and in our minds, Microlink’s number one.. with that alone, no title could ever best compete with the kind of recognition we have carved in our hearts..

Im gonna miss you guys..

(starting from top left .. Ninay, Ang, Bez, Erwin, Shiela, Nicnic, Marie, Sheila, Cris, Mark, Lyn, Ericel, and me!!)

| QAF's Season One Finale

"Brian and Justin".. excerpts from Queer As Folk TV Series

Just finished watching season one ender of Queer As Folk.. I got myself enchanted during Justin’s prom night when Brian came flashing through the crowd and walked up to Justin and asked him to dance.. The two just flew in to the middle of the dance floor and the crowd moved away like some celebrity just got in.. they closely watched how the two danced flawlessly with the melody of “Save the Last Dance for Me”.. aahh.. it was truly one of the greatest dreams I’d love to come true.. to be able to dance the man of my dreams in front of many people… before they ended dancing, they even kissed in front of everybody else which I’m sure got amused with what they just saw.. (how I wish people here in the Philippines would not have that culture shock anymore whenever they see gay couple kissing!!) and they walked thru the parking lot and kissed again.. Justin even told Brian that it was indeed the night of his life.. Just when Brian was about to leave, he saw on his side mirror Chris approaching Justin with a bat on his hands.. I was so touched with how Brian saved Justin from that bully, faggot-hater, pig Chris.. aahh… Why are there people like Chris who finds himself entertained and fulfilled whenever he beats up a queer guy like Justin.. Thanks to Brian who never failed to save Justin from people like him whenever he gets the chance.. But it seemed Justin’s knight-in-shining-armor is already too late for he has already been hit on his face... Brian immediately attended to Justin after he ran into Chris, giving him an ass-kicking leg off he could not forget.. Justin’s head was already bleeding and Brian was on the verge of breaking down.. Even a heartless, self-conceited, label whore like Brian would give much of his care to someone he probably has grown to love.. But he’s just too weary about his feelings.. I was waiting for him to tell that he loves Justin but based from his actions, I think he already does.. the saddest scene I remembered is when Brian was sitting on the bench outside the ER, wearing on his neck the scarf he gave Justin as a gift for his prom night.. the scarf was already bloody and worn out but he chose to wear it still.. maybe because he wants to feel Justin through the scarf with his blood all over it.. That was truly a catastrophic, heartbreaking ending of a gay TV series I love to watch the most.. I wonder if Brian finally admits his love for Justin in the next season.. (got to spend hours downloading from the internet again!!) Meanwhile, im gonna figure out how will my own Brian Kinney fall for me??? Do I need to be involved in an accident before he finds realization?? Or do I need to do no more and let him figure that out himself?? Aahhh.. too many questions yet none has been answered yet..

| what i fear the most..

The Inevitable Death.. i don’t fear it for the fact that I don’t wanna bear the pain that it would bring and the idea that my body will rot six feet under the ground or if not, being burnt in an oven.. it’s because I don’t wanna leave the ones I love.. those people who believe in me and I know would suffer the hardest if i die.. first on my list is my mom.. I still haven’t accomplished the dreams I made for her.. those dreams that we made together.. and because she’s aged, I would like to at least give her the best comfort of living that she truly deserves.. I intend to pursue my ambitions for her.. I think that’s the least I can do for all the hardships that she has done for me.. she’s remarkably the best mom I can say in the whole world.. I love my siblings so much that I wanna help them the best way I can.. they worked so hard to support my studies and I thank them for every single cent they have spent to bring me to college.. if I die, how would I be able to return the favors they did for me.. I don’t wanna die without seeing their lives stable.. I know that it is because of me that they weren’t able to fulfill their own dreams yet.. lastly, I don’t wanna leave my friends.. I treasure them so much as well as I treasure life.. they were the ones who keep me standing through every trials I stumbled upon.. much as I do to my bestfriend who have been the kindest, most understanding and loving friend I ever met.. words are not enough to detail their essence but I just cant leave them behind.. I know that in any moment I could be dead but at least I was able to give them the proper tributes through this little piece of writing.. just have to say life wouldn’t be more meaningful without all of you..

| Kudos to the "FEU-EAC Cheerleading Squad"

I’ve been part of the cheering squad of our college for two consecutive years.. and I must say it was one of the things that I will miss the most out of the university.. the tedious rehearsals, the pressure and the bonding among my teammates were indeed priceless.. not to mention the glory that it brought us after each performance in front of an overwhelming crowd and supporters..

Whew! Cheerdancing was definitely in my blood.. my mom used to be a cheer dancer herself way back in her college days in Red Warriors home.. I only learned that just before the competition starts in my second year.. from then on, I told myself that this thing is something I can be proud of and will pass to the nest generation of my
family (if I have no choice but to have a family harharhar!!!)

To my friends and former teammates, I love y’all.. the times we had been together were impeccably one of the best memories I have in college.. so sad I wasn’t able to compete for the previous year due to the tight schedules I have in school.. but hey! Who knows I might be able to pursue my dreams to finally perform in the
Big Dome for a final showdown of cheerdance and wonderful cheers.. but that would only happen if I pursue my masteral degree.. well anyway, that matter is out of my head at the moment.. see ‘ya around folks.. you were truly among the few talented peeps I personally know.. VIVA COECS!!!

| a TALE of the INCREDIBLE TROY..

>> woke up @ 11:00 am and had a movie marathon.. oh I miss watching movies here in my room.. (just try to imagine being out of home for like a week or more, huh!!) first up, “a shark’s tale”.. i must say I enjoyed the film so much that I laughed my heart out.. still thinking about will’s punch lines.. who wouldn’t have gone crazy when you hear smith cranking jokes?? Oh well, I was so touched with the moral of the story.. that you shouldn’t be somebody just to satisfy your needs or pursue your dreams or get people’s attention or find your true love.. cause even if you’re a nobody, you can still have 'em all.. being a nobody is not an impediment for you to realize how life is worth living and how it is wonderful blessed with the things that you have... though there may be times that people always feel insatiable, still, we just have to be thankful of what we have right now.. im sure they are worth having than what we desire..

second up is “D Incredibles”… oh I love the effects and the sounds and the humor of this movie.. it’s great to see a family fighting together though.. makes me sad because I don’t have a dad!! Well, what difference does it make, anyway?? I still have my mom who acts as my dad as well and who fights with me through the battles of our lives… yeah, being a broken family doesn’t make us less loving and less caring for each other.. in fact, we have so much love for our family.. oh, I love my mom so much.. she means everything to me.. and to my dad.. ahh!! Get lost!! Don’t you ever come back, you freak!! Just kidding..

the last movie that I watched for this day is “Troy”.. though I already watched it in theaters with someone urrghh!! Oh.. just don’t wanna remember that day when someone – someone rejected me… the nerve!!! He was so conceited, obnoxious and a chauvinist pig!! Du-uh!! Well anyway, he’s not worth talking about so I choose not to elaborate details about him.. what I liked about the movie is when Brad stated the lines that go somewhat like these, “you cannot be lovelier than today”, “we cannot be here again”… it just sounded so truthful that made me realize that we cannot bring back the past nor the time we have already spent.. that we should make the most out of every single second we live.. and in relation with love (again!), we should take the chance of loving someone today for it could be our last chance.. that waiting for someone based on our standards is not option.. that whoever comes near close to our heart should be given at least that chance to love us and be loved by us.. oh well! It’s pretty much easy to say but when you do so, it gets complicated… just a tiny thought from my wicked mind!

- just to add up, i remembered why Achilles (Pitt) fought for the people of Troy.. it is because he wants the world to remember his name... hmm.. i wonder what am i gonna do to be remembered and how would i wanna be remembered??? well, im saving that for next post..

peayycce OUT!

| as the rain pours down, memories flash back and my heart cries out!

A moment ago, as the rain poured down from the clouds, the tears literally flew down through my cheeks.. I felt so much pain because of something I wasn’t prepared to hear.. the overused cliché - “that you deserve someone better than me”, “that there is someone out there who can love you the way you love me”.. ahh!! WTF! I uttered the same lines before to my ex's and now I am hearing it to someone I love so dearly.. is this some kind of a joke.. or a twisted fate maybe.. or shall I say karma.. yeah! Because of what I did in the past, destiny must have gotten her hands on me to let me feel how throbbing it was for people I used to take for granted.. I must admit, I was such an a**hole before, never really considering the feelings of others before making decisions that will surely tear someone’s life apart.. but that happened after I endured so much pain caused by my past lovers..

To give you a quick recap of what happened in the past, ‘er it goes..

My first love was a girl.. she, in fact, taught me the right intimacy.. she taught me everything I needed to know on how to lighten the fire between two lovers.. but she dominated me.. and I never liked the idea of being manipulated especially that I take no orders from no one.. the second girl I
loved was already told in my previous blog, the BEGINNING..the third girl, well, she was too good for me, I swear!

As I entered college, I realize that a part of me is still in the dark.. and so I must clean my closet before it gets dusty and everything turns into a total mess… and so I came out of the shell.. I finally admitted that I have this sexual attraction with the same sex.. I’ve had series of relationships with a lot of guys, but none actually lasted for more than a month.. I don’t know why but as far as I know myself, I put so much effort in every relationship I had… well, to some only!! The foremost relationships I had were experimental.. and so I got hurt because I was played and used.. I was so vulnerable at that time… trying to mend the pieces of my broken heart, I jumped into another relationship and to a fling and to a relationship and the cycle goes on.. from that moment that I decided to leap from one relationship to another, I told myself that I would be not-as-loving as before… that I would think of myself, care for myself, and love myself more than i love anybody else.. but I thought wrong.. because of the implication of that little selfishness, I found myself hurting the ones I love.. I started feeling guilty because with that one shot of destiny, I didn’t give it all.. I didn’t love them not just with all my heart, but with all of me… And so I told myself that the next time I would be falling for someone, im gonna make sure to it that he will feel loved by me and that I will treat him right.. im gonna do whatever it takes to make him love me, too..

And so he came, but the inevitable happened… though im looking forward to this scenario that he’s gonna tell me that same old cliché, still I wasn’t equipped to last the pain.. he even told me before that he isn’t ready to commit to someone yet.. but I decided not to listen.. cause I wanna try this out.. as the line goes from Cueshé’s song, “think about it, cause we only had one shot at destiny.. all im asking, could it possibly be you and me?”.. and now here I am, I must say I was worn out.. my heart is bleeding and so is the love I have for him.. though im crying my heart out, I’m still praying and waiting that he will soon consider the love I am offering to him.. maybe all I need is more prayers for I have neglected my duty to Him for the longest time..

| Homage to DIGIMOVERS!

It all started during the groupings of our project study (thesis) way back in june 2004.. all six of us were surprisingly grouped together (most of them happened to be not of my regular groupmates in any of our projects).. And then the name DIGIMOVERS emerged out of the topic of our thesis which is about Digital Television.. we see ourselves as one of the initiators of DTV in the country.. (yah right?!?)

Due to the tight schedule of our thesis, we decided to have our internship together and luckily, we got in to our dream workplace --- the ABS-CBN Broadcasting Corporation..

We have accomplished so many tasks and have developed unfathomable friendship.. it bound us together that we cannot even imagine how we are so attached with each other..

We laughed at our own corny jokes, shared the same out-of-this-world trips, cried in each other’s arms.. and even alienated some of our friends because of our incredible closeness…

Woah! Certainly, our group has gone a long way… thanks to our ever-supportive/ loving - caring/ encouraging/ accommodating adviser (Sir Bonby) who has assisted us in the most possible ways he knows…

Our thesis has ended but the friendship continues to linger on… for we have not only opted to share friendship with each other, but to share our lives as well… I personally have grown to be a better person and i know that if it wasn't because of you guys, i wouldn't be able to achieve this state.. thanks to all of you :-)

Our memories will forever remain in my heart..
Auf Weidersehen,

AJA DIGIMOVERS!

| i feel sorry/happy for a friend..

Supposedly, we will be having a batch party tonight in Fairview at one of my friends' house.. a celebration for a four-year-and-one-term wait to finally finish college... but then the unexpected awful truth happened.. one of our batchmates, i consider as of the closest friends i have (actually all of them are) received a failing mark in one of our f**king subjects, which is Advanced Robotics.. our professor could at least have a heart (not just a heart but a good one!) and give her a passing grade considering all the efforts we have made for the said subject, but then he could not.. our batch president talked to him prior to the release of our class cards concerning about the said matter, that if ever any of our batchmates failed in his subject, would he at least give a little EXTRA considerations.. but then again, he did not.. he still failed students with his high standards... oh well.. he just played his part of being a silent terror professor.. he played it so well!! and so our party was cancelled because of that, but got no hard feelings about it..

that was indeed a shocker!! i could not help myself but feel sorry for a friend who in fact have grown close to me way back in our Internship days.. (i'm so sorry you-know-who-you-are, don't know what to do to at least make you feel better)


to keep balance of the things that were happening, another bombshell was revealed.. i was chatting with one of my friends awhile ago and she just announced to me that she and lee (one of my digimovers friends) have been officially together for like six hours ago.. i was so thrilled that i even jumped off my seat.. after all the tease and the taunt-moments between them, i surely wished that they'd be together and it paid off.. i even had the chance to be a witness of their undying love.. im so proud of e.i. for she never feared of losing the wrong love in favor of a new one which we all knew was right for her.. and to lee, my endless enemy/brother/friend hehe, take good care of her for no one deserves her more than you do.. it was indeed a destined love (try to imagine that they even have the same birthdates.. geez!!?)

just before i get too cheesy about their newly-born relationship-slash-bond-slash-rapport, let me cut this out...

| the BEGINNING!

I am a typical, normal kid who had been raised in a typical, normal place by a typical, normal mother. From my childhood years, I have remembered myself as a very naughty young kid who normally caused accidents. I even remembered the time I was hit by a tricycle in our street when I was five years old. My mother was out of the country for work. We hardly see each other that time for she has to work in other country to support my needs. My childhood years had not been much that fun for I have no parents to play with, to talk with and to be with. I was a product of a broken family.

My father left us when I was still in my mother’s womb. I never had a chance to meet him for he never even spent the time to search and even give an ounce of concern for his son. At first, I thought he was dead but it was only in my 6th Grade did I learn that he was still alive and yet he had not even come to think of me, he didn’t bother to discover if I am alive or not, as if I didn’t exist in this fucking world. I can’t demand things like that for that time. I was only a child. Who would listen to a 12-year old kid speaking things like that by the way? I have two half-siblings, a bother and a sister. They were just like ten years older than me. They are the children of my mother’s first

husband but his husband left them likewise. I feel like it’s a curse of the family for we haven’t seen any successful relationship among us. Four years ago, my brother was supposed to be married with a girl we treated as our own family, but the girl backed out for reasons that we still don’t know. My sister had been in love with a guy whose job is a seaman, but she was devastated when she found out that the man of her dreams was married to a woman living in Negros Occidental. I don’t think that what is happening to our family is just a mere coincidence for it was really unbelievable. It is really depressing to think that my family went through to those stages in life, which I think the darkest ones.

My mother continued supporting my financial needs until my secondary school. She had a vacation here once a year. For me, that wasn’t enough to fill up the lost times we should have been together, but if she hasn’t worked that hard, I don’t think I would be able to go to college. My high school life was the best stage of my life as I can say it is the worst as well. In high school, I have met people who I consider as my best friends. I also developed my self-confidence by joining theatrical organizations that enhance my well-being and helped me developed the talents I have inside. On the contrary, I have learned bad things a typical teenager does in high school. I have learned to puff cigarettes when I was a freshman, to drink liquors when I was a sophomore, to take drugs when I was a junior and the worst, to have sex when I was a senior. Isn’t it amazing? I have been kicked out also from school when I was a junior. I brought so much humiliation to my family just to have a little bit of their attention well in fact, their attentions were all in mine. I was so stupid to disappoint them with their expectations of me, to disrespect the values they have taught me and to hurt the ones who love me more than anybody else. I was the biggest fool at that time for I don’t think before I do some things, which would cause harm to all of us.

Luckily, my family gave me the chance to prove to them that I am not what other people think of me. I was so happy because I have realized that other people might turn their backs at me, mocked me, but not my family. They are the best. They are the ones who will be there for me when there is none.

I have been in loved also with a girl I respected so much. I even did things she asked in an instant of time. I would give her the world if I can and even die just because for her. She was my friend and the feelings developed as we get to know each other. Then the inevitable came, she confessed that she was in love with our friend. My world stopped as we break the relationship I’ve deep-grown to love. I can’t even face the world with a smile just because of that. I don’t know why. Maybe I was too in loved with her. That was the worst thing ever happened to me. To be cheated by a girl. Then, I finally made up my mind never get too involved with a girl until I finish my studies.!

My life had been very much colorful, full of ups and downs. But now, this is a chance I have to prove to myself that I can do things more than I can even imagine. I have lots of opportunities ahead of me. Just like all of us, we are all exposed here on earth with lots of opportunities waiting. All we have to do is to grab those and do the best thing we can do to work it out. My life may not be the ideal life anyone would ever want, but at least I am living it to the fullest!

Welcome to my life peeps.. i assure you that everything that you will learn from here is nothing but the truth..